High Camp Caress Morell

UPSTAIRS OR DOWNSTAIRS

2010-12-26T22:39:00.002Z

Have just spent the last hour thoroughly enjoying the revamped BBC version of Upstairs Downstairs. I was too young to have watched the first episode but it was a TV show that I remember my parents and Nana talk about being a great show with Gordon Jackson and really was one of those shows that was revered and spoken about for 35 years til the remake.

Now there has been some rivalry as ITV has been playing Downton Abbey with Maggie Smith at the helm and it has garnered rave reviews and massive ratings in the UK. The BBC have been cautious by running this as a 3 parter over 3 nights. Now I received Downton Abbey on dvd as a Xmas present and will be lapping that up but to avoid comparisons, haven't watched so I can enjoy Upstairs Downstairs and I must say - when the British decide to, nobody can beat them with high class and excellently acted drama peppered with comedy.

The whole hour set the scene so well with Jean Marsh (the original creator) revisiting the role of Rose Buck who becomes housekeeper of 165 Eaton Place. You can see that money has been spent on this production and it's all on screen. The set design is beyond superb, attention to detail is terrific and every scene peels back the layers of both Upstairs and Downstairs. Upstairs is affected by national events, the King has just died in 1935 at the start of the show - there's even a cameo by Wallis Simpson! The real meat and potatoes drama seems to be downstairs with drunk teenage footmen and a butler with a past.

Dame Eileen Atkins plays the Dowager with a monkey as a pet and I must say, she is superb. She created the show with Jean Marsh and seeing them together in a scene was more than magical. Glamorous, educational and brilliantly acted - the best hour of drama TV I've seen in a while - and probably will until I watch some Downton Abbey!

WHEN ALL IS SAID AGAIN

2010-12-21T22:18:00.003Z

Continuing on this review......

TOP TV MOMENTS - Again I can't list these in order of importance as they are all nothing short of fucking crazy amazing.

1 - Real Housewives of New Jersey - Teresa and Danielle going at it "Is Bitch Betta?" And then Danielle causing Teresa to have possibly a hairier baby than herself when questioning that Teresa's husband had a fling with her cousin?! I think.

2 - Eastenders and Corrie Live - Both excellent although I'm always an Easties fan so seeing Bradley move even after dying or Scott Maslen screw up his lines was great viewing. In Corrie, I expected more death after that tram crashed in. Rita telling the fireman to help himself to a toffee was rather inspired.

3 - Glee Season 1 Finale - Bohmeian Rhapsody intercut the choreography with a birth equals TV gold.

4 - Vampire Diaries Season 1 Finale - OMG Damon kissed Elena, Elena chops off John's fingers, FUCK! It's Katherine and John gets stabbed. I knew it was her, she had a kink in her hair!

5 - Dannii returns to X Factor - 3 outfit changes a new haircut and all filmed in Oz is what's called "upping the ante"

6 - Kylie and Scissor Sisters at Glastonbury - Saw on TV as she joined the band for Any Which Way and the crowd went ape-shit.

7 - True Blood Eric - I thought he was dead, well deader than a vampire normally is but no, he turns up full of mud and still manages to piss off Sookie.

8 - Robert McAllister dies in Brothers and Sisters - A car crash, lots of blood, Saul may have had HIV for like 100 years but Robert is really hurt and I cried like a bitch. It's because it was Rob Lowe.....

9 - Real Housewives of DC Reunion - Cat says Bollocks a lot and sounds so husky her voice could pull a sled AND she's British and still needs subtitles for the US viewers.

10 - The A List New York - Ryan says Reichen's play was "delicious" What a bitch! Although not as bitchy as Derek or maybe or Austin or maybe TJ - Fuck it, they are all bitches! I love it!

11 - Lauren Samuels singing Being Alive - Tacky reality show Over The Rainbow is too camp for words. Lauren Samuels sang the shit out of every song and yes she wasn't Dorothy. She's too good for Dorothy, get that girl in Company to sing Being Alive every night!

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE 2010

2010-12-21T21:25:00.002Z

2010 should be and is made up of categories. Rather than a blah post of me commenting on all sorts of camp I thought a few lists would seal the deal a bit and summarise partly what's steamed my pudding this year - if I can remember!

TOP TRACKS
In chronological order from January to December when they are on my monthly playslists on iTunes - Does anyone else do this? Rather than playlist each album or artist I have a month where I add tracks and just play.

JAN
Take A Bow - Glee Cast - Perfect cover, better than Rihanna's original

FEB
Come To Me - France Joli - Further Tales of The City inspired this 9 minute Canadian disco classic
Parachute - Cheryl Cole - The only Cheryl song that I remotely like

MAR
On A Mission - Gabriela Cilmi - Pop 2010 at it's best
Telephone - Lady Gaga and Beyonce - Great track, better video although what was with all the movie stuff - just play the record Lady GooGoo

APR
Love, Violent Love - Music Go Music - Early ABBA with glam rock rolled into 2010 fusion makes amazing pop track
Pretender - Elouise - An amazing voice from a girl who looks a bit council at times
Vertigo/Relight My Fire - Dan Hartman - Disco's most perfect 9 minute segue. Takes me on a journey very few tracks ever have and hearing it played at a nightclub in April was SPECTACULAR

MAY
Earthquake - The Flirtations - HI NRG track to do dramatic head movements to on a dancefloor or possibly just your living room.

JUNE
Everything is Beautiful - Kylie - A hark back to Kylie's Got To Be Certain days, mid temp slice of dynamite
Aphrodite - Kylie - Title track on her new album, fierce and feeling mighty all the way for me. The drum beat is addictive.
Night Work - Scissor Sisters - Starts their new album off so well and even better live in concert. This song really came alive for me.

JUL
Running Out - Scissor Sisters - The track to get me moving with any hangover, the beat is dirty and reminds me of dirtier dancefloor times.

AUG
Head First - Goldfrapp - This may sound tacky but this song reminds me so much of the end credits and incidental music played during Joan Collins mini series Sins. Played a lot this year!

SEP
Silver Lining - Hurts - Haunting, amazing voice, beautiful lyrics, epic, perfect melancholy pop track. Saw them in Oran Mor at start of October and this whetted my appetite for a blindingly good gig.

OCT
Gotta Go - Alexandra Burke - Best track on her album I rediscovered this month. Very different track and I love the fact that she sounds like she smokes 40 cigs a day and can still hit the notes required.

NOV
Kidz - Take That - Relentless beat that gets in your head as quickly as a Kylie track. The song is high tempo, sharp and with a hint of camp

DEC
Can We Try Again - Technique - A slice of early 80s disco from The Saint. The perfect song for a gay club. A real campy disco high tempo beat, lyrics about meeting on a dancefloor, potential for poppers moments throughout and what seems like a big camp American male choir on vocals belting it out.
When All Is Said And Done - Abba - Forgotten track from The Visitors still worth a listen or 300

CHRISTMAS WITH CHRISSIE

2010-12-07T22:26:00.002Z

Saturday night was one of the best nights out I've ever had. My all time favourite actress from Prisoner Cell Block H came to Glasgow for a fan event and I was enraptured. Amanda Muggleton returned to the UK and sparkled like Xmas. She was beyond fabulous, answered loads of questions about cast members and her time on the show, her time on Richmond Hill and lots of her theatre work. What was also nice was that she came round the entire table and gave us all a kiss hello and when she came to me she said "I met you before in Birmingham" which was wonderful for me as a huge fan!! She also dished with some gossip and told naughty stories.

One such story was that in a dining room scene early on, she had to make Carol Burns (Frankie Doyle) laugh on cue. Carol was notorious for being in character so Amanda as Chrissie whispered in her ear about Peta Toppano (Karen Travers) "I bet she farts when she fucks"

Amanda spent so much time the fans signing autographs, getting photos taken in her Chrissie outfit, she seemed to like my chest so she signed that as you can see from the photo above! I won an auction item of a rare framed photo of Amanda and Joan Ferguson. Maggie Kirkpatrick had signed this a few weeks before at an event and Amanda wrote a wonderful dedication to me. Everyone raved about the event and it truly was magical. Then the organiser Barry Campbell text me the next day to pick up the photo from the hotel as I'd left it there and lo and behold - I met Amanda again. We sat and had a drink in the bar and got chatting on a more personal level and I've come to the conclusion that she really is a wonderful lady. My lasting memory is walking Amanda to the train station arm in arm with her calling me "Her hero" I could swoon right now!!! One of Australia's best loved TV actresses and prolific theatre actresses and she was nothing short of amazing.

WELL, THAT WAS A HIATUS AND A HALF

2010-11-29T21:33:00.003Z

It sometimes seems as though this year, my blogging has taken a major back seat - with Twitter and Facebook and any other various ways of communicating to friends and people you really don't know from all over the world - blogging can get so 2004 for me.

The thing with blogging is that it does give me more of a chance to express myself in more than 140 characters (not that I'm a huge tweeter though do have an addiction to Facebook)

So this hiatus has included going to the gym an awful lot, booking up another holiday to NYC in January, seeing my friend recover rather brilliantly from a brain tumor, drinking a lot of alcohol, having some filthy sex and meeting some stars from Prisoner including Joan The Freak Ferguson. For the record, she was quite funny at times but didn't really want to be at the event if I'm being honest and was there just to make the money it appeared.

I could expand more on this but I'm pretty sure my 140 characters are up or that my one reader other than myself has a status update to complete! Will be checking in later as I have YET to complete my Top 25 Camp Movies of All Time some 4 years after starting it I think.

I've also been going against the grain and enjoying the company of men who are all in their twenties and younger than me for the most part. It's possible that my Dirty Thirties are taking over and I'm becoming one of those faux confident men I used to like the look of when I was first out on the gay scene. This however, completely threw me at the weekend when I met a guy who was fashionista fabulous and so hip it hurt. I was slightly tongue tied as he's cute as hell but we will see if I see him out again and am drunk enough to school this twenty something guy in the ways of this thirty something blogger! At the very least, I want to check out his piercings and bizarre hair cut!

WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS

2010-09-27T21:26:00.002+01:00

The new Fall TV season has started in full - Glee is on, Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters.

Gossip Girl was eternally glamorous with some of the cast in Paris for a few episodes. It made me want to go back and mince down some alleyways and drink enough wine to sink the Titanic.

Vampire Diaries is cliffhangertastic. I can't cope with all the twists from episode to episode but the gorgeous male cast make up for it.

Glee is very very good again. Introducing the butch Miss Shannone Bieste pronounced Beast was fabulous and she shows real heart.

Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters have lost their mojo. Vanessa Williams is ok as newcomer Renee but this show should have stopped as should Brothers and Sisters without Rob Lowe. These were two shows I adored. In fact, I reported on Desperate Housewives way way before the premiere date and although some of the lines are still zingy - there's no pizazz. Even cameos from a lot of the original players such as Christine Estabrook and Steven Culp could make me excited. I expect better and although the fiesty Felicia Tillman is back, I just don't get how they kept the audience in suspense by her announcing from her prison cell that her nemesis Paul will be dead in 6 months because she has friends in Wisteria Lane - I don't remember her having any friends at all. The jury's out. But like Gossip Girl - we'll always have Paris.

PS - Did I mention how sucky the final episode of True Blood was?

AUTUMN OR FALL?

2010-09-06T10:59:00.002+01:00

I have booked a trip to NYC! Am going in January with Cameron and we are going to paint that freezing town red hot - well that's the plan and I can't wait! Have been looking to book a holiday for ages and this will be a great time of shows, drinks, hot guys and mincing up 5th Avenue in winter warmers!

I have also just seen a listing for Armistead Maupin's new book - Mary Ann in Autumn which is released in November. Now I admit I was a Johnny Come Lately with his previous novel, Michael Tolliver Lives and read it about two years after it had been released which was ridiculous really as I devoured the original 6 books of Tales Of The City. The cover looks great and I adore Maupin's writing style - it's like meeting up with an old friend whenever I read any of these books as the characters are so relatable even 30 years after they were originally written. Mary Ann Singleton as a character changed the most throughout the novels and appeared briefly in the last one so I'm looking forward to seeing how her story has evolved with Maupin's usual wit.

I managed to run the Great Scottish Run yesterday and my pins are sore today. It was only 10km but with little training and a sore knee I delivered in 51 minutes which was fabulous and I have a great sense of achievement. I nearly fell a few times throughout and was struggling but the last 3km I got my head down and just got in to the race!

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES DRAMA CONTINUES

2010-08-24T21:16:00.002+01:00

Me and my friends are going through a Real Housewives fest. At the start of the year it was New York which has then led to New Jersey and now DC, catching up on previous seasons of Atlanta and in October the new Atlanta one starts.

It can appear a bit staged at times and some Housewives are so contradictory but it's totally fascinating how the TV execs manage to make a drama appear and build out of really nothing. The dramatic build up, split screens and glaring looks all make it unmissable viewing. The good thing about these shows is that they are filmed months in advance and then a few weeks before airing, they film the reunion episodes which are my favourite. The only time that everything is confronted and some housewives lie through their silicone tits. The host Andy Cohen doesn't hold back and neither do the housewives as it's their chance to confront. The housewives are all a bit nuts and desperate for attention but that kind of makes them all watchable.

New York is my favourite show as these bitches argue and don't apologise for pulling punches. Bethenny calls a spade a spade and is the most relatable wife with her quick one liners and always looking for love. Jill was nice but has become fame hungry. Ramona has bizarre crazy eyes and Kelly is just off the wall nuts. They are back for a 4th season next year without Bethenny who is doing her own show on Bravo.

Atlanta has Kim who says she's thirty but is possibly 46 she's the token white chick in Atlanta who is friends with Nene who is GHETTO. In fact all the wives are ghetto Nene would start a fight with anyone and pull wigs and weaves. She swears like a trooper and I love her. Sheree is a bit bitchy and aloof and Kandi's ex husband got murdered so it's kind of real life but also heightened reality with their reactions.

New Jersey has the infamous Danielle PROSTITUTION WHORE. A real nutty wife who changed her identity, was a stripper, apparently was involved in a drug cartel and is full on shady. I hate Teresa, she's a poor fraud who has so much debt, she makes Monte Carlo look poor. Caroline is as thick as thieves around the waist and bores me.

DC has kicked off and although it's supposed to be about White House gatecrasher Michaele Salahi, I adore British bitch Cat Ommanney who was accused of being racist then denied it calling a black man "coloured" she has said in interviews that she can't stand Michaele..... the drama unfolds.

As you can see I'm kinda obsessed - I sometimes think I'm in the Real Housewives of Glasgow with my friends - we wear nice clothes and bitch but still get together for parties and have a great time with a little less surgery and a little more class!

GAY SEX IN THE 70S

2010-08-22T21:47:00.003+01:00

I have watched a fascinating documentary tonight - the title of this post is the title of the documentary. It has blown me away with stories of excess, drug use, nightclubs, hedonism and eventually death to the biggest issue to hit any community in our lifetime - AIDS.

Some of it is unashamedly funny like the man who said when a guy asked him to wear a condom he later told his friend "that some sicko asked me to wear a condom" to the dominant master in the baths who was questioning a sub "Yes what?" to which the sub replied "Yes Mary"

Many people have been interviewed for the documentary included noted photographer Tom Bianchi and activist and author Larry Kramer. They amongst many others look back fondly at being hosed down in a nightclub to was the cum off your body to going to the trucks which were parked at docks in NYC and going in and fucking in the dark.

A hedonistic time not seen since the Roman times before the advent of AIDS has really interested me - the disco soundtrack itself is fabulous - the stories fascinate me of so many people who have now lived through the last thirty years of unadulterated and uninhibited sex and also through hell. One man says he went to an orgy in Fire Island and wanted to stay but his boyfriend asked him to leave. He then noted that 5 years later every man at that orgy had been lost to AIDS.

It really makes me think of that time of free love and release in the gay community after the Stonewall riots - helped along with criso, poppers, disco and tight shorts - making this glorious time feel like it would never end...... all good things do.

OOH MERCADO

2010-08-22T19:52:00.002+01:00

Do you ever get that feeling when you walk past someone and your eyes connect and you think - I could bang you right here right now?

I just had that in Asda walking past the toilet rolls!

A hot silver fox whom I've seen out before is totally up my street, I just wish he was up in my face with his big dick.

Then as I was leaving aka mincing past with my chicken and veg bought, I saw him leaving aswell carrying his essentials - spices and a trusty bottle of Smirnoff Vodka. A boy can dream of being taken down aisle 14 on a Sunday evening in Asda......

PETA PETA PETA

2010-08-04T18:14:00.002+01:00

I know it's been so long since I last posted that I'm probably the only reader of the blog left - If I'm not - please leave your best caption or tag for the above photo - just so I know I'm not blogging to myself like a random crazy person.

I was lucky enough to attend "An Audience with Peta Toppano" Prisoner Cell Block H's first prisoner and also arch bitch Jilly Stewart in Return To Eden, Australia's answer to Dynasty.

She was very forthcoming about her life and career and spent a lot of time answering questions from fans about anything Peta related. She discussed starting in Prisoner and then going on to Return To Eden some years later, also about her marriage to Barry Quinn who played prison doctor, Greg Miller in the show. She was funny, articulate and very interesting. She spent time with the fans taking photos and signing autographs and also having a lunch. A real gem of a lady and fabulously camp - she did excellent impressions of Sheila Florence, Amanda Muggleton and the crazy Jude Kuering.

So many memories of a great day spent in the company of the fabulous Peta Toppano!

THE SOAPIEST OF SATURDAYS

2010-06-26T22:37:00.003+01:00

Tonight I have crashed out and watched The Scissor Sisters at Glastonbury and adored it - I saw them live for the 3rd time last week - they opened their comeback tour at Barrowlands in Glasgow and the sweat shop worked my butt off with dancing. Their set was blinding and thoroughly enjoyable. Tonight at Glastonbury they were joined on stage with Kylie Minogue - it was orgasmic to say the least!

Now I'm watching some of the soapiest drama ever produced. I have the reveal of Who Shot JR from Dallas on just now which will be followed by a Lana Turner appearance on Falcon Crest's first season followed by Krystle and Alexis being trapped in the log cabin in the season finale of Dynasty's Third Season.

It's soapy and highly addictive. Lip Gloss - complementary. Shoulder Pads - compulsory.

SUMMER SOUNDS

2010-06-24T23:12:00.003+01:00

I have been lucky to have heard this new album from Queen of Pop and all round icon - Kylie. I am obsessed with this album, it's pop, it's sophisticated, it's as catchy as crabs and non stop dance. Classic Kylie and gets a 10 out of 10. I could happily do a track by track review but won't bore you - nothing will beat listening to the track and having your favourite track change when the next one plays! Kylie is Highly Aphrodite!!!

Keeping me on the dancefloor is The Scissor Sisters new album aswell - Night Work is the male and sluttier version of Aphrodite. Kylie gets us waving our hands in the air wih poppers and the Scissor Sisters make us want to fuck on the dancefloor - it's a night album and one that's sleazy and raunchy with dirty disco beats with very little filler!

DISCHARGING MEATY HORSES DISCO

2010-06-06T21:30:00.004+01:00

I was thrilled to bits last night as the boys from Horse Meat Disco came up to Glasgow to do a night at Melting Pot. I went to Melting Pot a few months ago at a Paradise Garage night which we all loved and I've been to Horse Meat Disco a few times in London and it's definitely my favourite night out in London.

The DJ's blend all different genres of disco - they play some break out hits and some obscenely rare cuts that haven't been heard since they were recorded. Obscure disco artists and mixes really entice me in. Be it funk, euro, album tracks or orchestral - I adore anything disco that shifts from the norm of so many disco stompers. There is always a place for those aswell and my first night at Horse Meat Disco played Thelma Houston's Don't Leave Me This Way and it definitely filled the floor. I was also slightly obsessed by Shazaming as many tracks as possible on my iPhone so that I can pick these up a later date which I also did last night!

Adding to this disco explosion is the release of Disco Discharge. The smartest disco compilation set I've ever seen. A music label disco aficionado called MrPinks has compiled 8 different CDs all with their own genre - Classic Disco, Euro Disco, Disco Ladies, Disco Boogie and Gay Disco to name just a few. These collections are excellent and there are plans to release another 4 sets at the start of next year which would be amazing for any disco lover. I am hooked on this and am determined that next time I go to London, I hit up Horse Meat Disco and dance my ass off with some crazy disco queens. Life really is a better place with a bit of disco in it.

STILL YOUNG AND STILL RESTLESS

2010-06-04T15:23:00.002+01:00

For 15 years I have watched The Young and The Restless on and off - I love this show and have been watching a few episodes this week online. The writing hasn't dimmed and if anything the stories seem tighter and more fraught than ever down Genoa City way.

It's the top rated daytime soapie in the US and with good reason - it's held the top spot since December 1988. Grounded in semi reality - it has played the same storylines for at least 20 years. Who knew Jack Abbott and Victor Newman could be at loggerheads for so long over women and business. The acting is sterling to say the least. I have a few favourites - Eileen Davidson as Ashley, Jess Walton as Jill, Jeanne Cooper as Kay, Peter Bergman as Jack and Christian LeBlanc as Michael.

The interweaving stories never fail to brighten up my day when I watch Genoa City - yes it's daytime so has it's own world and is it's own genre but watching Y&R really is daytime at it's best. The budget looks great - there's always a conflict, always some young love and always always some crazy bitch or bastard causing havoc. Who can forget Dacid Kimble terrorising Nina by being mute and coma-ish but also being in the court room at her trial for attempted murder. He then had surgery to his face and was finally demolished in a garbage compressor. Sounds bizarre but the beauty of Y&R made it work - somehow and I was shocked and surprised - I still am by the twists and turns the storylines take - the writers manage to make everything a three act Greek tragedy and that's part of the show's success.

An old favourite couple returning is Danny Romalotti and his ex wife Christine Blair aka Cricket Romalotti aka Lauralee Bell who is the creator's daughter. Danny was a rockstar and Cricket as she used to be called was an aspiring lawyer - they were my favourite hot couple but then Michelle Stafford brilliantly playing the nutty Phyllis showed up and had an obsession with Danny and Cricket got raped by original bad guy Michael Baldwin - now Michael is the show hero. A testament to the bizarre but fabulous acting of Emmy winner Christian Le Blanc.

Y&R really is a cut above the rest and I just can't wait to see what Jill and Ashley and Lauren Fenmore and the rest of the cast get up to next! And I haven't even mentioned old stripper turned diva Nikki who I love love love aswell..... All I can say is YouTube - CBS has put up whole episodes on YouTube and it means I'm only a day behind watching my favourites of Genoa City - or I can go back 5 years and watch on TV here in the UK. Like a fine vintage, The Young and the Restless hasn't gone out of style.

TRUE RUE

2010-06-03T19:03:00.002+01:00

Rue McLanahan has died today. The fabulous Southern belle who we all took to our hearts as slutty Golden Girl Blanche Deveraux had a stroke after some illness.

When I was younger, Friday nights were must see TV at 10 to watch these deliciously bitchy women throw insults, eat cheesecake and wear blowsy outfits and step out on the lenai at a moment's notice.

Blanche was my favourite, a spitfire who liked to get laid, she could charm an eskimo to buy ice in true Scarlett O'Hara style - she spoke of Big Daddy at the plantation and her horrid sisters whom she detested.

The men in her life were plentiful and her youthful looks and stunnin' good body kept her bedroom door like a revolving door at The Rusty Anchor. Blanche was the butt of jokes from Sophia and she managed to confuse Rose easily but that was part of her charm and the portrayal by Rue.

Other than The Golden Girls, I remember watching Rue in a recent comedy series of Sordid Lives - she was the matriarch of the family and every bit the Southern belle.

I'm off to watch a few classic episodes of The Golden Girls to see Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia do their stuff - Rue - I salute you!

SOME BLANCHE CLASSICS
Dorothy: Thers a man on our lawn
Blanche: Get the net!!

Blanche: Take it from me I wrote the book on dating:
Rose: really what's it called?
Blanche: it doesn't have a title you twit

Blanche: I've been rejected once
Dorothy: from who
Blanche: Weight Watchers for being too thin

Dorothy: Your just jealous because I have a date on a Saturday night and you don't!
Blanche: Saturday night? kids stuff get lucky on a tuesday morning then call me

A FITTING PHOTO

2010-05-23T23:25:00.002+01:00

Celebrating 600 posts and over 6 years of HIGH CAMP CARESS MORELL - Here's 3 of the best British bitches - Emma Samms makes it for Models Inc, Stephanie Beacham for The Colbys and of course Joan Collins for Dynasty...................

LEESEN VERY CAREFULLY - I SHALL SAY ZEES ONLY WANS

2010-05-23T00:08:00.002+01:00

I've been prompted by a friend to revisit the classic British sitcom Allo Allo. Set in Nouvion, France during the war, Cafe Rene is the hub of all sorts of antics with cafe owner Rene Artois and his tone deaf wife Edith as they entertain the German troops whilst working with the Resistance hiding airmen, smuggling paintings and having various affairs.

It actually holds up well - the slapstick and farce aren't tired and because it's period piece, it hasn't dated too much. The cast is superb - I adore Vicki Michelle as slutty waitress Yvette who is having an affair with Rene. I love Michelle from The Resistance who coined the catchphrase "Leesen very carefully - I shall say zees only wans" and Officer Crabtree - the British policeman who thinks he has a perfect French accent. The cast is rounded off with great comedians who deliver line after line of ridiculousness. I can't believe they chased the Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies for 9 series! If you don't know about The Fallen Madonna, I suggest you pick it up with some wet celery and immerse yourself in Cafe Rene and all it's delights. I'm currently getting through an episode every night or so, such is the fabulousness of the show.

It kept audiences entertained for years and in 2007 there wasa reunion starring Gorden Kaye, Vicki Michelle, Kirsten Cooke and many others. You have been watching.......

KEEPING IT REAL

2010-05-16T22:13:00.002+01:00

The Real Housewives of New Jersey and New York City is keeping me wildly entertained right now. I am writing this post on the eve of 6 years of this blog! Can't believe I still have things to say about all things camp and to be honest, it's not getting camper than these two "reality" series.

The premise is this, take 5 or 6 rich bitch housewives in New Jersey and New York City, mix the personalities up and cause mayhem as they all eventually hate each other all the while wearing bizarre outfits and have cameras rolling. The New York City cycle of women are in two camps really. Luann DeLesseps was a countess but is getting divorced and is definitely Queen Bee. Then there is Jill Zarin who is really Joy Behar from The View, Alex gets stressed a lot, Betheny sleeps around, Ramona has crazy eyes, Sonja gets drunk and Kelly gets crazy. The new housewife Jill has it down pat when she asks if Luann knows how bad her new boyfriend's hair is and the fact that he's gay.

It's TV gold when the producers build up a moment at an art gallery when Alex told Jill that Betheny was "done" with her. The next episode Luann asked Alex "Who made you God?" The tension built and built and then Kelly went mental on a cruise ship - I think she may be leaving the show with Betheny as these housewives are nuts.

Not as nuts as the women of New Jersey. They are full on crazy. Sisters, Dina and Caroline with sister in law Jacqueline and best friend Teresa get their toes stepped on by crazy cougar ex con Danielle. Danielle is devious and dangerous and was engaged 19 times - she says things like "I wish Caroline love and light" but you know she actually is envisioning murdering Caroline in a gruesome Mob hit style death. Last season, Teresa went mental at Danielle who is actually called Beverly and she flipped a table at her.

This season, Caroline and Teresa are bitches just now - I don't really like Caroline but I do like the haircut Dina gave her cat Ladybug. You really have to get immersed in the show, the slightest argument is expanded to 15 minutes of reality tv dissection and I lap it up like a dog with two dicks!

So on the eve of my 6th anniversary of blogging, I wish you love and light and keep it real!

MUSIC MANIA

2010-05-02T22:13:00.002+01:00

Currently obsessing over Kylie's imminent release of her new album "Aphrodite" She looks more airbrushed than a brush of air but I'm having multiple eppys at the thought of new Minogue music. On top of that, The Scissor Sisters are returning with their sleaze album "Night Works" Stuart Price who did Madonna's Confessions era a few years ago has executive produced both Kylie and The Sisters and I have high hopes for both as I love them.

Been on a high energy-ish binge and saw Hazell Dean on Friday night, she played a danced up version of Who's Leaving Who which was annoying as the original is still the best. Hazell hadn't aged that much at all and she still finished with Searchin' - I would have loved more variety with Love Pains, Maybe (We Should Call It A Day) or They Say It's Gonna Rain instead of her tired set. But still, she's Hazell Dean. I was thinking of seeing Sonia as she's playing in Glasgow tonight but can't be bothered. Sonia is so small, even the stage of the Polo Lounge will dwarf her and I was on a Sonia message board (who knew she had one?) and she plays the same set as usual. iTunes have finally released her classic PWL album "Everybody Knows" which I loved so had to snap up tonight and am listening to as I type. So many great songs and that ginger Scouse bitch is working me into a poptastic frenzy.

Someone who made no sense either was Whitney Houston. She played in Glasgow last night and I was so looking forward to it - for the car crash if nothing else. The show started well and she sang well but then she got the sweats and kept on her fur coat which was a bad move. Whitney knew she couldn't hit the notes so didn't even bother and made a big deal of being friends with Michael Jackson which is something nobody should ever admit to. Classic Whitney sang two songs and then spoke a bit about being ill and rescheduling and chatted about the Icelandic Volcanic Ash - she really diva'd out here and we all flipped as it was classic Whitney - then she must have been sweating because she walked back and got her sweat rag and covered her face with it possibly inhaling the poppers or remnants of some crystal meth on it, she then reapplied some makeup and turned to face the audience and went on a crazy monologue as if she hadn't said a word previously. It was nuts and after another break she returned looking more Chinese than the Chinese girl who works in the Panda Hut across the road from my flat - I think she had a good bong or four because she really didn't bother singing much after that! Car crash Whitney delivered like Dominos.

I also discovered a great Abba-esque band called Music Go Music - if anybody reads this blog, check them out, it's more old school Abba style which is great. And did you know that Belinda Carlisle has a 12 inch mix of the amazing "I Get Weak"? This is my favourite song of hers and the extended mix is just heaven. I really am in Music Mania just now.

I PREDICT A LOU KELLY RIOT

2010-04-13T21:45:00.003+01:00

This is me meeting up with the wonderful Louise Siversen who played Lou Kelly in Prisoner!

She was a real treat and so very candid about her time on the show.

It was my birthday yesterday and I spent it relaxing and spent it with my family. All very blah after partying too hard on Saturday and missing my birthday night out with more friends on Sunday - I was pathetic being sick as a dog as they all visited me in my room to watch me throw up into a pan. I am that classy. I'm off to London on Friday for a weekend of theatre and partying so will have more to update but simply had to show my photo of Louise!

GO GO GO GOGOOOOOOOOO!

2010-04-08T21:37:00.005+01:00

I'm go go gagging to get back to NYC this year and enjoy the erm talents of the go go boys.

This guy is Geronimo who you may remember won GoGo Idol last year.....

The hot boys below are in G Lounge where they do the brilliant night BoyBox!

This now is my new favourite Go Go boy - His name's Matthew Camp and he has hot tattoos and a killer body. I want to see him in action and stick a few dollars down his g string!

DRAMA BIG STYLE

2010-04-06T21:24:00.002+01:00

Well I met the divine Louise Siversen in Glasgow last week who was a wonderful raconteur about her time on Prisoner Cell Block H as the demented and crazy Lou Kelly. She looked amazing and chatted a lot about her happy times on Prisoner. She is still great friends with Pepe Trevor who played Lexie, Glenda Linscott who was Rita and Tina Bursill who was the nasty Sonia Stevens.

I facebook stalked Tina Bursill the other day and got a reply which sent me into mild apoplexy. I'm back hooked on Prisoner and watching random episodes with alarming regularity.

I'm off to London next Friday to spend a few days partying and seeing Hair and Priscilla - I can't wait as I saw Hair in NYC and Priscilla last year. It's going to be fierce.

But not as fierce as the crazy lawsuit that my favourite Housewife Nicolette Sheridan raised against Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry for assault. Nicolette claims that he allegedly struck her and also said that he hoped a house would fall on Teri Hatcher. Now I know at some point or another, we've all wanted to strike Nicolette Sheridan on the show and definitely wanted a house to fall on Teri Hatcher but it's all a bit surreal. It looks like the crazy drama on set of Housewives is spilling over to real life and I'm delighted!

I have been blogging for nearly 6 years and can't believe it's almost 600 posts down the line and I'm still finding things to blog about - I still feel I haven't scratched the surface and although my posts aren't frequent at times, I hope they can still be as juicy as a lawsuit between Nicolette Sheridan and a fat TV producer.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

2010-03-22T19:42:00.004Z

It's been over a month since my last post - I've thought on various occasions about what I want to write about but the notion hasn't taken me until tonight even though I don't really have anything much to say.

I am meeting Louise Siversen next week who played the bitch Lou Kelly in Prisoner. Lou had the highest hair known to man - as she got crazier, her hair got higher, culminating in her escaping dressed as a nurse then hitchhiking to Lurch's family farm, getting raped and then killing them both then ending up in the pound and getting killed herself in a rather pathetic ending - we never even saw the murder happen.

The Prisoner website is really good at organising events such as this and am looking forward to this Prisoner star recount her time in the show and her time working with the rest of the cast!

On top of Prisoner, I'm loving catching up on Las Vegas - the glossy TV show set in - you guessed it - Las Vegas and also Entourage. The straight man's Sex and The City. Jeremy Piven is the scene stealer in this show as super agent Ari Gold. He is like a hyper active crazed career fiend, I'd love his energy and one liners - another great character is the publicist Shauna who is played by Madonna's old friend Debi Mazar - she's fierce, bitchy and really a gay man's wet dream! As it turns out, I'm having a night off the gym tonight as had a heavy weekend on the sauce. My diet has gone to pot tonight and have tucked into some pasta and even some chocolate, I'm back at my personal trainer tomorrow who will no doubt kick my ass back into shape. But for tonight, it's a bit of Lou Kelly followed by some Jermy Piven and Debi Mazar in a few episodes of Entourage.

EAST VILLAGE DREAMS

2010-02-14T22:16:00.002Z

I've been online today looking around and catching up on the goings on in NYC through blogs and websites. I am beyond jealous. Right now, I can think of nothing more freeing than stepping out of my flat and hitting the East Village for some Sunday night drinks at a bar, throw some dollars in a gogo boy's thong and live over there. Either in the thong or NYC.

There's something raw and edgy about the East Village that resonates with me every time I go. The bars are more chilled and less pretentious, the men more forward with their own style and the cafe culture reminds me of Paris. Great one off stores selling all kinds of clothes and odd items add to the bohemian mix.

I am just wishing a bit tonight - it's Valentines and I've never thought about it much but today has been a day for reflection and working out a bit in the gym of course. I can dream........ I just need to book a holiday to NYC soon to get my fix.

IT'S JUST - A LITTLE CRUSH

2010-02-08T21:06:00.004Z

I have had a crush on the actor Billy Campbell. He appeared in the 80s in Dynasty as the hot gay lover of Steven Carrington who was sadly offed in the infamous season finale when armed renegades stormed into Amanda and Prince Michael of Moldavia's wedding. He actually lasted until the first episode of the following season before dying.

That would have been the end of that but Billy Campbell appeared on Tales of The City as hot gay doctor Jon Fielding. I totally missed him as The Rocketeer but as a gay man, I adored his bone structure and foppish hair and amazing eyes and body. Just a hunk of spunk.

He then appeared as a single dad in the good drama Once and Again in the early 2000s although I didn't bag the hot daddy look. Cut to him reappearing in More Tales of The City and Further Tales of The City playing Dr Jon and getting naked. Delicious.

Now he's to appear as a love interest in Melrose Place to Heather Locklear - which is ironic as Heather Locklear's Sammy Jo in Dynasty made some nasty comments to her ex hubbie Steven about his dead gay lover.... I hope his body and looks have held up because he's just a crush I can't get enough of.

GETTING STRANGER AND STRANGER

2010-01-31T23:05:00.002Z

I have found that recently (like 2 minutes ago) I found myself talking to myself in the shower. Just some random words and then pulling the occasional face. Is this bizarre behaviour or not. It happens daily - I will say a bit of a sentence or ask myself a question and realise how crazy it all sounds and then move on.

Is this the first stage of craziness? I will probably answer that question to myself in about ten minutes when I finish brushing my teeth, make a strange face and realize I'm possibly going nuts.

WHAT A SURPRISE

2010-01-24T21:56:00.002Z

Well after my last post and seeing a comment from the fabulous author Armistead Maupin (well I'm sure it's him - who, apart from me would pose to be a peachy keen author of some legendary novels?!) I have renewed interest in the blog!

I have finished Michael Tolliver Lives and was more than satisfied, like listening to a song from A Chorus Line or watching Bette Davis in Dark Victory, it's my food and water and all I need. It has also got me ditching Mae West for now and reacquainting myself with the Tales Of The City miniseries on dvd. I blogged a few years ago and always remember Channel 4 advertising the series with a woman being all sultry promising that "the days are cool and the nights are hot". I watched the first hour on Friday night and soaked it all in again.

I went to a wedding yesterday at a beautiful lochside hotel in deepest, darkest Ayrshire. The setting was beautiful and like something out of a gallery, there was mist over the loch and nothing but stunning scenery for miles - that entertained me for all of 2 minutes before I got stuck into the free bar. It was an intimate wedding with only 70 guests, I took Cam and we just had a great time and danced our asses off all night aswell. Needless to say today, I am suffering a tad. My self imposed detox should have ended yesterday and I must say that I took it as a chance to make up for lost time and busted more moves and drank more vodkas than I have in months. I am taking my trainers advice though and only going drinking once a week - my days of 2 or 3 nights a week are long gone and I still don't have the stomach I want at all so the whip is still being cracked to push this body into some decent shape.

I have also been ever so slightly obsessed with Grindr. It's an app on the iPhone that is basically a gaydar with GPS - For example there is some queen 171 metres away called Bjam who says "good to talk" now if that's not an advert for cock sucking, I don't know what is. Speaking of which - I met my spanker again the other night. I vaguely remember blogging about this possibly last year when I let a guy spank me so we repeated on Friday after my gym session. He got to work right away and got my cheeks red raw but it was very funny because he was just so into it and kept on saying I had been a bad boy. Now that is hardly news but for a grown man with a hardon to tell another grown man that he's been a bad boy and has to be spanked is still a bit bizarre. I'm all for the bizarre at times and played along, aside from the spanking he was an expert at giving head so I could live with the spanking - I still don't know what I have done to be such a bad lad but whatever it was, I think it's just a little bit fabulous!

So the nights are becoming hot again thanks to Olympia Dukakis and Laura Linney and the rest of the creatures in Tales Of The City. Well this Sunday night is, either that or I've left my exfoliating mask on for too long and my face is burning!

POSTING LESS

2010-01-21T21:10:00.002Z

I have been posting less and less recently - occasionally I will realise and think that I ought to but when I start to type, it doesn't come out as witty or interesting as I'd like so I delete and don't bother until the notion takes me.

Since last post about Stephanie Beacham, I've not been too glued to Celebrity Big Brother. I have managed to devour season 3 of Ugly Betty and the fabulous season 3 of Brothers and Sisters - really brilliant and endearing TV. And always camp or dramatic.

I've tried to get into my Mae West collection but I have to say, it's a struggle. Every character Mae plays is irresistible to all men and she doesn't do much except strut and pose and start every sentence with that slutty "Oohh" voice that makes it sound as though someone's just tickled her under carriage. I even bought a trilogy of books that seemed right up my alley - however, I am a few chapters into book one, set in 1938 Hollywood - I have no sympathy for the lead heroine, none of the characters have any character really and it just seems to be a poor homage to that bygone era. I will stick with it and see how it goes but I'm wondering how on earth this author got published - it's beyond plotless. I'd liked to have been this guys editor and snipped this fluffy poodle of a novel into a dashing greyhound but it's just as though he's written this and protected his own work but to the detriment of the reader.

A bright spark in all of this is that I picked up Michael Tolliver Lives - the newest novel in the Tales Of The City series by Armistead Maupin. I loved the 6 original books and devoured them with ease - this one is no different, I have every intention of hitting the hay early and finishing it tonight - Maupin writes with such wit and heart that you can't help transporting yourself to San Fransisco - soaking in the atmosphere of Michael Tolliver, Anna Madrigal and the other strange inhabitants of Maupin's world. Not in the least bit fluffy - every line is well crafted and his storytelling ability is second to none. I will just be gutted when I'm finished and have only my poor novel to look back at and wonder - why would anyone publish such a poorly executed book - it does make me appreciate some great storytellers such as Maupin or another favourite of mine, Joe Keenan.

And I do promise to post more - I have only a few movies left in my never ending Top 25 Camp Movies Of All Time to complete and damnit Janet - I will do it!

SO NOT SABLE

2010-01-04T17:17:00.003Z

I don't think Sable Colby would be happy - neither would Aaron Spelling, although he turned over in his grave last year when Linda Evans cooked herself into a frenzy on British tv and Joan Collins is probably having a laugh into her glass of champagne whilst going for a wig fitting.

Stephanie Beacham is a housemate in the new series of Celebrity Big Brother and I'm not entirely happy. Whilst it's wonderful to see this fabulous camp icon on TV, I'd sooner she was putting her shoulderpads on and getting involved in a great drama or soapie. Instead she's going to be humiliated on a daily basis and wear bizarre outfits - all in the name of fame, I would have thought that Stephanie being 60 or 62 now would be thinking enough was enough and she will stick to what she knows best - being a great British bitch on TV rather than chasing a larger profile. I find it all a bit degrading. It would have been worse if it had been Joan Collins - she is a diva of the old school and although Stephanie and Kate jumped on her coat-tails in the 80s, I'd hate to see them degraded in a reality show.

Stephanie does have some true grit - right away she sat down and held court. When ex Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss showed up, Stephanie looked aghast and said "I'm Stephanie - who are you?" To be fair, Heidi looked like a cross between Jackie Stallone and her son Sylvester - she's been pulled more times than one of her hookers.

I should have known of Miss Beacham's hunger for fame when I saw her on Strictly Come Dancing two seasons ago - but really Miss Beacham - put on your sable and your Sable and just be that living relic of a bitch legend we know you are. I don't want to watch unless you're delivering zingers to the housemates at any opportunity, in other words, it's a disappointment.

TIS THE END - FOR NOW

2009-12-31T18:56:00.002Z

In a few hours it will be 2010. I will definitely be blogging on my Xmas break (although it was only 3 days) and all the trash and camp nonsense I've accumulated recently such as that rare camp fest of Joan Crawford's BERSERK! Where she plays ring mistress of a circus called Monica Rivers. Half the circus are murdered for no apparent reason - are is there one?!

Mae West had a dvd collection out of 6 of her most famous movies, I've watched one and she's fascinating. Men fall at her feet in Belle Of The Nineties and she sings at times, but the rest of the time she's got a saucy smirk and undulates at the camera, and they call it vaudeville.

All the best dear reader and see you next year!

COULD IT BE XMAS MAGIC?

2009-12-22T21:56:00.002Z

I am listening pretty much non stop to Donna Summer's version of Could It Be Magic. It's almost sleaze music that was played in the clubs in the seventies as the drugs were wearing off and the poppers had been used up in the late hours. Just some casual but emotional disco. I love Donna Summer's voice and this song is sex on disco.

Now it's a few days before Xmas, I've started watching The Man Who Came To Dinner my almost favourite Xmas movie. Well Xmas is only a small part of the movie, Bette Davis is the big part in a small role expanded for a star of her stature.

Last night I hit the gym with my trainer and it was DEAD. Only the hardcore were working and I was one of them. Who'd have thought a year ago when I'd almost given up the gym that I'd be kicking up my heels and doing pressups into squats in the gym 3 days before Xmas?! I have planned in a few sessions between Xmas and New Year because I know it's going to be hellish in January when everyone tries to lose that Xmas weight. I've been no angel with the diet the past few weeks but enjoyed it last night getting into the swing of things and walking away dazed and battered in a stranger sado-masochistic way!

So apart from Donna, Bette and the gym, I did manage to watch another great movie for Xmas - Gremlins. I love love love this film. It's hilarious and those fucking Gremlins get me laughing every time. Seeing them gamble and smoke in the bar and then sing along to Snow White in the movie theatre had me in stitches last night and hopefully it sets up for a fun Xmas period, not least because one of my friends is expecting her first baby. Her cunt better pop pronto before Xmas day!

5 SONGS OF 2009

2009-12-19T00:04:00.002Z

In no particular order, other than they are in my Top 25 on iTunes. Here are my top picks and why.

STORY OF A HEART - BENNY ANDERSSON BAND - Harking back to Abba's glory days, minus the sublime vocals of Frida and Agnetha but the relentless beat and melody of the song is pure Benny and is just a joy to listen to from start to finish. If Abba were performing in bad outfits in 2009 they would have sung this.

BAD ROMANCE - LADY GAGA - Non stop workout track. One to play on the treadmill or when the day feels sluggish and you need that bullet to wake up. Forget vitamin shots or lines of cocaine - this is an adrenaline high that pushes you to another place. The video's a blinder aswell.

TAKE A BOW - GLEE CAST - I had never really heard the Rihanna version that much but after listening to Lea Michele belt this bad boy out, I found it so fabulous. Her voice is clear as crystal decanters, there is never any question about her selling this song to the listener.

LOVE PATROL - THE DOOLEYS - I rediscovered "Wanted" whilst in a taxi this year and the driver had it on. I used to dance to the hi-nrg version and so checked out the Dooleys on iTunes and found their greatest hits. Now that was stretching it a bit as they only had 2 real good songs. This song has an uber gay, poppered up moustache disco feel.

AQUARIUS - HAIR NEW BROADWAY CAST - Just sublime. I loved the movie version and thought nothing could beat it, however Sasha Allen soars as Dionne. Seeing the show live in NYC and hopefully seeing it live in London next year really brought it to life. It also helps that I met Miss Allen after the show and it really was the dawning of Aquarius. If any song was my top one this year - it's this!

MELANCHOLY?

2009-12-07T21:50:00.002Z

So after the last post - I felt rather melancholy. Maybe it's the fact I've been listening to Anne Murray sing Broken Hearted Me on repeat I think that has flattened me before hitting the gym hence the poor performance.

I've just turned on Marlena Shaw's version of Touch Me In The Morning which is just perfect sleaze music.

I feel lifted already! Listen to it on iTunes and bust a few moves. Melancholy no more!

RAGING EXERCISE ALCOHOLIC

2009-12-07T21:37:00.003Z

I was at the gym tonight and it was absolutely jumping. My trainer gave me the most horrendous workout which I really struggled with especially with some crazy exercises he gave me. I was in pain and at times I felt like quitting as I wasn't getting to grips with it. It pisses me off because I should be kicking serious butt at anything he throws at me. I just wasn't feeling it so at my next session I have to nail it without question. I never thought I'd say it but I prefer the sessions with loads of weights because the other stuff he makes me do it just horrendous.

It's Xmas in a few weeks which is really scary as I feel like Xmas has just crept up on me. I have done all the Xmas shopping except a few things which I need to organise and my outfit I ordered online still hasn't arrived which is slightly worrying as my Xmas night out is on Saturday night.

With all the partying planned in, I'm slightly worried that my diet will go to hell more than it has the past week or so. I felt fat as all hell tonight in the gym and I absolutely know that it comes down to the diet. So it's back on the smoothies and healthy eating as much as possible in the next few weeks and restrict the treats to the weekend when I turn into a raging alcoholic.

MY FAVOURITE POST EVER

2009-11-23T21:48:00.003Z

YES!! Christmas came early as This Caress Morell got to meet THE CARESS MORELL. At Memorabilia this year, Kate O'Mara was signing photos for fans and I took the opportunity to meet my favourite Dynasty actress.

I was seriously hyper ventilating as I spotted her from afar. She didn't look too rough at all and I screamed at some of my friends that Miss Caress Morell was in the building. I slowly made my way over and asked her to sign some classic Dynasty shots which she did. I then plucked up the courage to ask her about Dynasty. She said she loved it but the producers couldn't care less about her acting. They said they were "worried about her hair and that her lips looked good" Now this was golden info! I then asked about her time in Howard's Way which she absolutely adored and that she had a great time. My friend Gillian quizzed her about Bad Girls which she found terribly opressive as the set was like an actual prison and when she mentioned Kate's big starring role in Triangle, Miss O'Mara uttered "Oh, don't get me started on Triangle"

Finally I knew that with her being so frank I could ask one more question - Why did she leave Dynasty? Her reply - Well I had done two years and I think Joan wanted rid of me to be honest. I laughed slightly nervously to which she said "No, I'm being serious!" then she laughed aswell and I thanked her for her time.

It was possibly the most exciting 5 minutes I've had with my clothes on in ages. Kate O'Mara rocked my world!!

TOP LETCHING VINEGAR DOG

2009-11-23T21:40:00.002Z

Yesterday and Saturday, I had the opportunity to meet some stars from Prisoner Cell Block H. I got to meet and chat to Val Lehman (Bea Smith) Gerard Maguire (Jim Fletcher) and Fiona Spence (Vera Bennett). It really was exciting and overwhelming to be in their company and chat to all of them. A genuine thrill - they gossiped away, especially Val who really is Queen Bea! More to tell but check out my next post for the ULTIMATE meeting!!

A DIFFERENT CORNER

2009-11-16T22:08:00.002Z

I had the strangest sexual experience of my life on Friday night. I've not told anyone about it except my trainer at the gym tonight and some of my friends read this. It's not surprising really considering I'm whorish but this is up there with the best and worst of stories.

I got roaring drunk with the Jons and the horn got the better of me so I headed off to the sauna. Now it was fine and some cock sucking happened and it was all fun. I wandered about being a ho and blowing some random guys.

I ventured into the steam room and saw a rather hot guy sitting there. I positioned myself across from him and we started wanking, he timidly came over and was clearly prepared so put a condom on me and I fucked him and we started rutting like sweaty pigs. It was all good and wet and fun and he made all the right noises and took it well to be honest. The steam room only had us in it but we were banging for Britain and it was really hot so I finished the job and so did he which was all good. He stepped off and walked what I thought was timidly away. But no. He was disabled.

Now this is something I didn't expect. I am all for shagging around but wasn't sure what to think when I saw his legs twisting slightly wildly as he staggered in front of me rather slowly. Should I help him out? Does he want to walk away with a tender ass and no chat? Now this is not something for anyone to take offence to but I have to be honest, Is there a stigma attached to this? He was a damn good ride. I just don't know if I would knowingly do it again. It opened up a little can of worms in my head and although it's the kind of story I may tell friends to have a laugh, I couldn't help but wonder Carrie Bradshaw if this was being cruel. I have a friend who broke his back and will walk with sticks the rest of his life and I feel awful for him and I guess shagging a guy who was disabled brought out more thoughts than I imagined. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. It was a good fuck and to be honest, I don't do a lot of repeat fucks at the best of times. So I'm putting it down to a good ride - with a slight difference.

BOLDLY GOING

2009-11-15T22:43:00.002Z

I thought it was time for some hotness and nobody recently has been looking hotter than Brandon Beemer - he was in Days of Our Lives and is currently romancing semi gay icon from the eighties and Sunset Beach, Lesley Anne Down's character in The Bold and The Beautiful.

He is sex on a stick.

WINE AND BURNS - THE PERFECT COMBINATION

2009-11-09T21:13:00.003Z

Here lies Pam Ewing - burnt to a crisp and unrecognisable after her disastrous car crash in a season cliffhanger of Dallas - I recently picked up this season on dvd and have been watching poor Bobby act all upset to this mummy. Literally a mummy. Victoria Principal had tired of the role and realised she could make shedloads more money by hawking her own hand cream and Principal Secret on QVC so Pam crashed and we are left with this effort of an actress above! I remember at the time hoping that we'd see Pam appear even though Victoria had left and she was no longer in the opening credits. Alas it wouldn't be til over 20 years later that Victoria graced a Dallas event when she was reunited with Patrick and some of the original cast. A good move by Victoria to be honest as after she left, the show lost even more credibility and even the addition of the sexy Jack Scalia and Andrew Stevens or the feisty and fabulous Sheree J Wilson as April couldn't return the show to it's glory days of Pam and Bobby and Sue Ellen warring with JR.

Meanwhile over in Tuscany Valley.....

I have managed to get an OFFICIAL release of Falcon Crest season 1. Albeit an official release in Germany - not to matter, Season 1 is all there and it has more backstabbing, glaring looks and double crossing in one episode than Desperate Housewives has had all season. Jane Wyman and her poodle perm are causing all sorts of problems and Robert Foxworth's Chase Gioberti has arrived in Tuscany Valley to upset poor Angie's apple cart or should that be grape cart. To add to it, Angie's daughter Emma is hiding a terrible secret and I must say Margaret Ladd is pulling off the role of a retarded child very well. On top of that Lorenzo Lamas is looking every inch the resident stud of the vineyard and will make some interesting viewing. It's Jane Wyman's show and you can tell from the start that her Angela Channing is pulling the strings in this show. The acting and writing is superb and it really does feel like drinking a great glass of wine - quality, tasteful with just the right nip!

WHINY BOARD

2009-11-05T22:20:00.002Z

I'm currently watching Chess In Concert starring Josh Groban, Idina Menzel, Adam Pascal and Kerry Ellis with Marti Pellow.

Now this should be fabulous but Marti has clearly been on the crack for too long as he's as husky as Whitney after a session on the pipe and looks sweaty and Idina Menzel as Florence is so whiny. She's no Florence, she's not got those pipes ala Florence and should have stuck to Elphaba. Kerry Ellis is a powerhouse with little to do but is just flawless. I Know Him So Well is the big number duet from the two but this is no Elaine Paige/Barbara Dickson number, Ellis effortlessly beasts Menzel who seems intent to shop up the song and make it her own. The beauty of any Bjorn/Benny composition is that they shouldn't be tampered with. She sounds quite whiny at times.

Adam Pascal is rather sexy, much more than Josh Groban who has as much sex appeal as an African caterpillar - or is that just his eyebrows?

The music is delightful and the show is unique - just bring back Elaine Paige as Florence because Idina Menzel is murdering it!

QUEEN OF CRUDE

2009-10-27T22:58:00.002Z

I'm not talking gay boys into oil - but rather Lisa Lampanelli. She's a tough broad comedienne from Connecticut with a potty mouth. If you like your gay and racist jokes with your tongue firmly in your ass cheek then she's the girl for you. Be warned though it's not for the easily offended or faint of heart. Lisa Lampanelli is so vulgar, she appeared on The Wendy Williams Show and they couldn't show a preview clip of her because it was so rude!

I have listened to some of her shows on iTunes and seen some online and she is filth.

For example - she found out her last 3 boyfriends have just died so she feels she should have a reality show called "The Deadliest Snatch" Banging Lisa Lampanelli is more dangerous than playing the Joker in Batman.

My favourite joke was someone who said, and I quote :- Lisa Lampanelli's nickname is "The Limo" because her vagina can fit eight people, has a leather interior and I came in it tonight!!

Genius!!! Check her out for some crude times.

CARRYING ON REGARDLESS

2009-10-25T19:11:00.003Z

It has been almost a month since my last post. Since posting I have been on a few holidays, changed work locations and partied my tits off to be honest.

I will start almost at the start. At the start of October, I headed to London for a few night to see my mate Rod and also see Sister Act - The Musical. Don't go, save your money - it's shit, just listen to the soundtrack. I actually fell asleep at the start although I think it had more to do with the bottles of champagne and the wine with dinner that got me merry. After Sister Act, we had more drinks. I told Rod I wanted a bit of sleaze so we went to the sauna which was great. He thought it would be quiet. Quiet to him maybe, but to me it was as busy as Argyle Street in City Centre of Glasgow on a Saturday afternoon. Anyone who's been will tell you - it's mobbed. Like the sauna. I had some fun which was good! The next day was out in town and then more drinking at a wonderful night called Duckie. It was in Vauxhall and there was performance art and disco music so I was like "Result" We also went clubbing afterwards to another bar and met some more of Rod's mates and got more pissed. Our final day was just fabulous. Ten people at lunch celebrating someone's birthday and it went from 3pm to 3am. We had lunch at a place called The Swan which was just at The Globe Theater. It couldn't have been better as the company and the chat was fabulous. I met a guy who had had a dildo stuck up his ass and had to go to hospital to have it removed. He was also from Inverness but sounded so London, i thought he was possibly channelling Peggy Mitchell.

Somehow dragged my booze soaked carcass back to Glasgow where my body gave up on me for two days. I was supposed to train my ass off for going to New York (more of that in a minute) and I just couldn't do it. I thought I was coming down with a cold but it didn't kick in. My liver was on the verge of packing in and I told Cameron that I was really rough. I managed to get packed and we made our just over a fortnight ago to NYC for a holiday and to see Kylie in concert.]

We arrived safely and got chatting to a guy who works in Armani on the train into Manhattan. This was a good contact to have as I'm a bit of an Armani whore. Cameron and I got to the hotel and dumped our stuff and headed up to Times Square. Jon and Jon were also arriving so we minced about waiting for them. The weather was good and the steps and the changes in Times Square mean you can sit about all over the place. It felt like being back home as we had been a few months earlier this year but fabulous nonetheless. That night, we had some dinner in the East Village and went to some gogo boy bars. It was fine and the drinks were strong. I love American men, they have tits, teeth and guns (some literally!) We went to The Cock which had a sign "No Sexual Activity Allowed" and I was given a ticket saying this also. This led me to believe the place had been busted. I fucked a guy in the toilets in there once so nothing surprises me about it. I knew this wasn't really the other boys bag so we left and had a semi early night on the first night.

The next day Cameron and I did some shopping and met up with Renee whom we met the last time we were there. She stays in Brooklyn and is fierce like Tyra but more fabulous. Her brother Ryan joined us and we danced the night off in a bar called Amalita. It was mobbed and the music was great. I was slightly concerned over Jon's three quarter length trousers at the start of the night but soon got into our groove and also met some other boys from Glasgow over for Kylie aswell. Renee was getting us into the music and telling us all sorts of crazy stories - she got me downloading Kim from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta's song "Tardy For The Party" It's so bad it's amazing. I was then introduced to another friend of Ryan's and I ended up taking him back to the hotel whilst giving him some decent head in the taxi there. He was a dirty bitch and let me film him and his massive cock. New York boys are sluts and so am I!

Ryan had put us off seeing any shows I suggested but we thought "Fuck It" so the next night I went to get tickets for Naked Boys Singing. It was in a cool venue in the Theatre District and it really was just naked boys singing. A very funny show with lots of laughs and hot boys. Especially hunk of the day, Dave August. He's delicious. Afterwards we were having dinner with more Scottish boys at Room Service, a fabulous Thai restaurant. The food was great and we had a laugh although eating late in Manhattan and then getting your drink on is never a good option and I had an early night.

We trawled round Central Park on Sunday and saw an almost organised roller disco in the park. Only in New York do grandmas and Thai brides put on some glitter and rollerblade together around Central Park! More clothes shopping and a great dinner at Lips the drag queen serving restaurant followed by a long session in The Duplex made it very special. We propped ourselves up at the bar and met the staff who were singing their asses off. We met Poppi Kramer who is a barmaid but was on the US version of The Biggest Loser and was hilarious - the free drinks helped aswell. Shanna Sharp also hosted the bar and sang to me, what a voice and it was just a magical evening!

Being so rough after all this time, I was unsure how much of a climax or anti climax Kylie would be. Well she was superb. She seemed much more relaxed than on other tours and was having loads of fun. Although the queue was literally round the block, we had good standing position and were right beside Jake Shears and BabyDaddy from The Scissor Sisters. It was surreal to see Jake Shears sing White Diamond and I Believe In You as he'd written these with Kylie. My last day in NYC was coming up and I had to maintain my crown as the holiday whore. Cameron had met a guy and hooked up with him 2 nights in a row so I simply had to get back in the game. We got shitfaced in G Lounge, the night after Kylie and as the boys were going home, I jumped in a cab down to The Cock - I knew it was a spooge bar worth spooging and I'm the dame to prove it. I went in and grabbed a beer and sat down and got talking to a lovely black guy called Rich. We got friendly and I took him in a cab back to the hotel. Things were going well until he said he didn't suck dick. I told him "We're done" so he got dressed and left. Then I thought it was my last night in NYC, I wasn't wasting it - so jumped a cab back to The Cock and within a minute or two, met a Latino guy called Umberto. Now I know you may think I'm whorish - which I am. Umberto and I didn't waste time and rather than go to my hotel, he took my drunken ass back to his place in Brooklyn. What happened after that I would like to forget some of it but I won't! He spoke with a lovely accent and we got to his apartment and were getting down to business, took a few naps and I awoke and it was daylight and I was sober.

I woke up in a room that if I had been sober, I would never have entered. It was like the episode of Sex and The City where Carrie goes home with Timothy Olyphant's twenty-something character and wakes up in a shithole. It was quite like that. Umberto went to shower and I tried to dress without touching anything. I did notice he had a small fish tank with a single fish and a FROG in it. Beside the fish/frog tank I saw a picture of my fuck with THE BIG O. Yes, apparently whenever she's in town, Oprah dines at the restaurant in NYC that Umberto manages. I could have died and kind of hoped I was dreaming but when I left with a smile and promise to call him, I knew I was in reality. I wandered about aimlessly for a while, trying to find a subway to Manhattan. I found one and got to Manhattan, changed trains and stupidly got in a train back to fucking Brooklyn. Eventually I got back to Manhattan just in time to shower the filth smell off me and get packed. This holiday whore had taken it for the team!

Since then it's been work work work and getting positively raped at the gym to get back into some level of fitness which is kind of happening. I went for another workout today and managed it without wanting to throw up or pass out which is progress. Now all this holiday shenanigans talk is making me want to book another holiday.....

I COULD JUST BURST

2009-09-27T21:59:00.002+01:00

Oh Mum!! I've got so much to tell you I could just BURST! Those were some immortal lines uttered by Dawn French in my favourite episode of Murder Most Horrid when she almost committed suicide but was talked out of it by Amanda Donohoe but ended up saying those lines and being blown up!

It feels like an age since I blogged but it's only been a few weeks - I was missing something, there was a void in my life, Gossip Girl and Melrose weren't fulfilling it properly. Now I am filled. To bursting.

Glee the campy and hilarious TV show has aired it's first 4 episodes in America. Naturally, I can't contain myself so have seen them the day after they air online. They are immense, musical numbers, reworking of classics, high school drama and bitchy one liners from Jane Lynch - the actress who played my second favourite character in Best In Show. Nothing on TV has surpassed this last week's episode when we see gay boy Kurt filming his own version of Beyonce's Single Ladies to then seeing the football squad perform at the tense end of a match. It was TV genius and it's going to get even more genius when Kristin Chenoweth guest stars next week.

Speaking of guest stars, I actually pissed myself slightly tonight when I saw the ad for next week's X Factor - Dannii is whisking off to Dubai for the Judges Houses stage and who's helping her? Only Kylie!!!!! Now in just over 2 weeks time, I will be seeing Kylie live in New York so it's going to be super exciting to see her the week before on TV.

TV consumption (well not actual consumption) has been high - between Glee, X Factor and Dannii's ever changing hair style - how many ways can you style a bob?! Seeing the sexy Ricky Whittle get his chest out on Strictly Come Dancing, more Gossip Girl and then The Beautiful Life. The Beautiful Life has lasted only 2 episode and has been cancelled. I am not happy. The scripts were weak - it was predictable, the acting was blah but it was about fashion and bad models and it had Elle MacPherson as model agent Claudia - it was definitely in the so bad it's good pile of TV and certainly one of my not so guilty pleasures.

I'm going to London on Friday for a long weekend to see some friends and shows before NYC next week. I feel like a jetsetter, waiting to launch off instead of typing this on a Sunday night myself listening to Elaine Paige's live album which is fabulous nonetheless.

THE BITCH IS BACK

2009-09-22T18:17:00.002+01:00

So I'm back to blogging regularly - ish! And the most important news item except the fact that I go on holiday in just over a fortnight to London and then New York is.....

HEATHER LOCKLEAR is returning to Melrose Place. I watched the first episode and enjoyed it but it missed a certain something. That would be uber bitch blonde micro skirt wearing man eating power hungry goddess that is Amanda Woodward.

She returns in about 7 or 8 weeks - the press release is a bit vague about how long La Locklear is back on for but I can rejoice!!

HEATHER BE THY NAME!!

UNHAPPY BUNNY

2009-09-17T18:37:00.002+01:00

I'm not well and loaded with the cold - I'm not happy. I was supposed to be getting into training for my holiday in NYC in 3 weeks and it's annoyed me as I've had a few days of not being well.

My nose is redder than Miss Scarlett and I'm sneezing a bit! It's driving me mental! Normal service will be resumed in the next day or so!

UNFULFILLED

2009-08-30T13:59:00.003+01:00

I've had the most blaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh weekend. I have been training like a bitch in heat for the Great Scottish Run next Sunday and I think the heavy training this week has taken it's toll. I trained on Monday with my trainer where I was seriously wasted and then I did step class on Tuesday and a 10k on Wed before a final session on Thursday night with my trainer. I woke up on Friday with so little energy it was as though a vampire had drained me during the night. I thought I was getting the flu with a hint of swine - oink oink so rested up on Friday night and then last night decided against going to Edinburgh with my friends and was tucked up in bed by eleven. Today I feel so much better and not so ravaged by lethargy. Not that I was ravaged at all but I think the past few weeks of heavy training was a bit too much.

Because of the boringness of my weekend, I have watched more Desperate Housewives and Melrose Place than I previously had for years. However, I'm still not satisfied. I watched Stardust - The Bette Davis Story and this filled me up to some extent but I couldn't face two hours of Bette non stop running about those staircases of Warner Bros in Now, Voyager so I went to bed early.

So what now - Bette's not done it, the Desperate Housewives or Melrose Place couldn't do it - what is going to give me that bread and water I desire? I'm on the hunt for some trash so satisfying, it's not a guilty pleasure - just pleasure.....

COULD IT BE TRUE?

2009-08-21T22:55:00.002+01:00

The celeb blogs are all reporting a great story - it could be pie in the sky to gain publicity for the show but apparently Miss Heather Locklear is "in talks" to return to the revamped Melrose Place.

Now I know it was good to have Sydney back from the dead and possibly dead again - but to get Miss Locklear would be amazing. I only hope she pulls a "Special Guest Star" status on the show as she did her whole way through Melrose Place originally.

Heather was Melrose, she entered that show and scooped it out of the doldrums and her perfectly formed face was the stuff of dreams with the tagline "MONDAYS ARE A BITCH" I can only hope it's true and Amanda Woodward comes back to bleach blond bitch the life out of the new residents of 4616 Melrose Place.....

MELROSE REPLACE & MODELS INC PLUS

2009-08-06T19:44:00.003+01:00

Two new shows are starting on the CW network in the USA this September. The new fall season starts with some even more juicy rivals to Gossip Girl and the new 90210. 90210's original spin off, Melrose Place is back and is being called imaginatively, Melrose Place. It has a few stars in it - No Heather Locklear - she passed on it. I'm unsure if that was wise as what has Heather done since Spin City except break up with Richie Sambora, hook up with Jack Wagner and get done for drink driving? If the show flops, Heather's made a smart move but apparently, the producers would LOVE Heather to whip on her best micro skirt, grab that briefcase and buy the apartment complex once again as Amanda Woodward. They have managed to weed out Thomas Calabro as Michael Mancini, Josie Bissett as Jane Mancini, Daphne Zuniga as Jo Reynolds and somehow Laura Leighton as Sydney. Sydney was one of my favourite Melrose minxes and I'm not ruining too much as Sydney died at the end of season 5 and guess what?? Within the first 5 minutes, we discover Sydney to be dead again in the pool of the apartment complex. Apparently, Laura Leighton's Sydney will appear throughout the season in flashbacks and we find out how she managed to fake her death and then buy the complex again!! Sounds like a job for Amanda Woodward to be honest, only she could pull off something this wild. I would personally like to know how dead Sydney managed to get the apartment complex from Lexi Sterling who owned it at the end of the shows original run - maybe that will be revealed. We also have the very blah Ashlee Simpson and various other sluts and hunks heating up the pool at 4616 Melrose Place - I await this with excitement - part of the charm of the original Melrose was that it was camp and outlandish but the good characters of Jake and Billy and even drunk Alison kept it grounded whilst Kimberly blew up buildings, Sydney fought in the pool and Amanda ruled the roost with an iron fist and tight skirts - I hope this one delivers just as well!!

The next show premiering is The Beautiful Life which should be called Models Inc Plus as it's just almost that spin off from Melrose Place about the modelling industry from the mid nineties with Linda Gray and Emma Samms. Instead of Linda running an agency, you have real live Supermodel Elle MacPherson and a new host of hunks and beauties and bitches. They've got a Brit to play the bitch which always works in a catty show about models. It's all flashing bulbs and lots of male skin as we see 2 rising stars in modelling and the over the hill model - the fabulously named Sonya Stone, played by tabloid's favourite little junkie, Mischa Barton. Mischa was recently sectioned under a mental health act - maybe the scripts were so awful she actually went mental or maybe the storyline of pill popping stunning model Sonya was a little too close to home. Whatever, I will be watching especially after the trailer had the Brit Bitch say to the new model as she went out on the catwalk "Break a Heel" My tights and fabulous wardrobe can barely cope with the fabulousness of this show!

TOP 25 CAMP FILMS OF ALL TIME - 4

2009-08-03T19:47:00.003+01:00

MOMMIE DEAREST

For some, this is the ULTIMATE guilty pleasure, for others, it's a portrait of child abuse, for others it's the greatest film ever made and then for some more it's the worst film ever made. For me and hopefully for you, dear 1 blog reader, it's just Heaven!!

Mommie Dearest as any self respecting camp afficianado will know, is the movie based on the book based on the early life of Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of movie legend and all round diva, Joan Crawford. The book sold shitloads shortly after Joan's death when her daughter was incensed at being cut out from Joan's will so decided to return the favour and immortalise wire coat hangers and destroy Faye Dunaway's movie career in one fell swoop. Well that last part was really Faye's fault.

Faye Dunaway was cast as Joan in the movie that is far better viewed in short doses or scenes, you should then switch off or pause the dvd, lap up what you just saw, savour it with a cocktail and then flick to another random scene where Faye chews up the scenery. If you played a drinking game at how many times Faye overacts, you'd be dead drunk within the first ten minutes.

There are so many craaaaazzzzyyyyyy scenes that I would be here all week typing them up but needless to say the wire coathanger scene itself deserves an Oscar for Best Accessory. Faye as Joan is fixing Christina's wardrobe at night whilst Christina and her son Christopher are strapped up in bed sleeping. Faye has gone all Kabuki war style with her face completely covered in cold cream and a rather fetching blue dressing gown and alice band to stretch her face out. Joan aka Faye finds a wire coathanger and proceeds to rip the clothes out and takes the offending coathanger and belt Christina repeatedly, then in a fit she gets some Sodium Chloride or some cleaning chemical and her and Christina scrub the tits out of that floor whilst both are going a little bit apeshit. I laughed when seeing this scene but when viewing it with some friends who didn't get the campness of it all, found it rather disturbing. It is to be honest, however, when you realise what a little bitch Christina is, you're cheering Faye aka Joan on to make sure she gets some welts on her back. The thing with Mommie Dearest is that you are supposed to be rooting for Christina and her bad acting and temper tantrums but she's so whiny that when Joan chips her into a hut for the afternoon, again you are quite delighted at another method of child rearing.

Now I know all you faithful followers of camp will be licking their lips at another scene which is when Joan is fired from MGM. Her days were numbered as Greer Garson started to outplay Joan so she goes to visit LB Mayer and her contract is terminated. Joan is devastated so when she gets home she starts taking the shears to the rose garden and screams that infamous line "TINA!!!!! BRING ME THE AXE!!!!" and she then proceeds to chop that mother fucking tree down with all her might. Decked out in a fabulous evening gown no less.

Almost as comedic is when poor Christina falls ill - she's now played by an adult. Diana Scarwid but she's just as annoying. Joan has turfed Tina out to make her own way - which she does and lands a job in a soap. Sadly for Tina, Joan can't resist helping out as Tina is in hospital so she goes into the soap, half in the bag and plays the same part her daughter played. Watching adult Tina see this unfold before her eyes on national TV is just fabulous.

I could go on and on and on with lots of different scenes but to get the full effect, watch the dvd. Then watch the extras, including the hilarious commentary by John Waters. He laps the movie up with both hands and his moustache. Faye Dunaway has dismissed the film and refuses to talk about it in interviews as it really did spell the end of her top player career in Hollywood. Ironically, when Joan herself was asked whom she'd like to portray her in a bio, Joan stated - Faye Dunaway. The film was released and was savaged by the critics, financially it was a success and has since become a Hollywood Camp Outrage. Faye Dunaway really IS Joan Crawford, Joan's spirit is in her performance from the scarily accurate makeup and face to the intense portrayal of Joan. I doubt Joan would be thrilled at being trashes by her own daughter but Dunaway inhabits the role perfectly and plays it into a real frenzy.

QUOTABLE QUOTES

JOAN - Don't fuck with me fella - this ain't my first time at the rodeo. (sidebar - try and bring that line into ANY conversation and you deserve an award!)

JOAN - Tear down that BITCH of a bearing wall and put a window where it OUGHT to be!

JOAN - NO WIRE HANGERS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHRISTINA - There's a liquor store to the right
JOAN - I should've know you'd know where to find the boys and the booze

JOAN - You expect me to ignore my fans, they're life and death to me baby! They're the ones who really MADE ME!

JOAN - Helga, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the dirt.

Again it's too juicy to quote everything - so lap it up baby, but make sure your house is clean first!!!!

CHAFFING SISTERS

2009-07-25T13:34:00.003+01:00

It's been over a week since I last blogged. I've been busy working, working out and been to see both Bruno and then last night Cameron and I saw The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. I heart Ryan. He's just lovely although I'm sure he has a hint of cross eye.

My workouts are going well - I'm being beasted by my trainer every session. So much so that I feel I could throw up over him a few times. It does pass and I can see more differences in my body. I've limited myself to really just one night out on the lash per week. I hope I can stick to it as I'm planning to run the 10km Great Scottish Run in 6 weeks. I had a slight setback on Thursday, I'm running 7km just now and was caning it on the treadmill when I just couldn't be fucked. So I finished after 5.5km cos I had a bit of pain in my foot, I hit the changing rooms to go for a shower and took off my trainer to see my toe bleeding!! Then I went for a shower and almost screamed like a girl when I saw that I had chaffed my armpits. It was sore as fuck. My bloody Adidas white running top has caused me more pain than any gain possible.

To help sweeten any pain, I put some lotion on to soothe and it's worked. Also helping is the Sister Act The Musical Cast Recording that is DISCOTASTIC. It's fabulous and is the only thing playing on my iPod just now. I can't stop dancing my ass to it and now have to plan a trip to London to see the show before the end of the year! I definitely defy anyone to listen to a track or two and not dance their bootie out their seatie.

HARDCORE HELGA HIGH PULLIN HITS

2009-07-15T20:48:00.002+01:00

I am not long in from the gym. For the past few weeks, my trainer and I have been focusing on body building. Not like Iron Man style but building up some muscle. Then I decided to run the annual 10km Great Scottish Run and he's going to do it with me which is all good.

So to break up the body building and continue to improve my fitness further and body build, we are doing these crazy sessions that he thinks up. It's a mixture of cardio, weights and torture. When I first started training with him, we did all sorts of different activities which was excellent, I went boxing in the park, did shuttle runs, bizarre exercises on boxes and trying anything and everything. It's been amazing but because we've been concentrating on solely weights for a few weeks, I knew going back in to his other style of session would be tough.

Tonight I realized just how tough. I was high pulling then press ups on the weights I was high pulling, then bent over rows, then squats and lifting the weights, then ran through to another part of the gym to do shuttle runs, in between shuttles were 10 second blasts of boxing. Then I got a breather. I'm sure at one point, I was seeing stars. Not to give up, we did it all over again, before working on my core for a good twenty minutes then returning to the initial exercises. Now I normally take my time in the locker room but tonight I took even longer as I am just home and completely fucked. I know tomorrow and going forward I will be reaping the benefits. Hardcore Helga is back and kicking ass!

JUST A REQUIREMENT

2009-07-03T23:52:00.002+01:00

Seen as I'm a nasty old bitter show queen - well maybe less of the nasty and old and bitter tonight as it's Friday night and I'm having a protein shake and listening to music rather than getting my dance and drink on at the Polo. I made a semi serious commitment last Monday with my trainer that I would lay off the booze for a bit. So far it's worked but that's only because it's the first weekend night I've been tested - god knows what I will be like tomorrow night if I do go out. I might possibly give up the ghost but tonight I've diverted my attentions with a stunning curry (I'm allowed a break on the eating front at least once a week) watching some Prisoner Cell Block H and listening to some great showtunes. The following choices are just a requirement for you to download and listen to or Youtube the performance. They are all showy and definitely fabulous! In no particular order:-

1. SOMEONE ELSE'S STORY - Kerry Ellis - Chess in Concert 2009
Well the concert was 2008 at the Royal Albert Hall but the cd and dvd were released in the states a few weeks ago. Idina Menzel is just average as Florence but Kerry Ellis playing Svetlana is wonderful in her rendition of this song that wasn't in the London show but Judy Kuhn sang on Broadway and now the other female character sings it in this version. Kerry is divine in this. She is a beltress and I insist you listen to it and adore. She actually pisses all over Idina Menzel's performance in this recording and I love Idina!

2. AQUARIUS - Sasha Allen and the cast of Hair - HAIR - New Broadway Cast 2009
Sasha Allen is definitely Sasha Fierce as Dionne in the Broadway revival of HAIR that I managed to see twice on my recent trip to New York. This song is at the top of the show and is just wonderful. The band starts and some dim lights come up and lo and behold, Sasha and the tribe are generating their ideals of peace and love and freedom with Aquarius. I adored the film version, possibly because I saw Mistress Formika sing it at Wigstock in Wigstock The Movie. That was until this new recording which is number 1 on my iPod Top 25 Most Played songs!

3. LOVE CAN'T HAPPEN - David Carroll - Grand Hotel
David played a major part in the premiere production of Grand Hotel in the early 90s. Time went on and the show was never recorded for posterity. By the time the recording came about, David Carroll was dying and actually passed away in the recording studio. Unable to complete the recording, it now features David Carroll singing a live version of the great song, recorded a few months before he died. It gives me goosebumps. He nails it at the end and it's nothing short of phenomenal. Listen to it and weep. What a great song and performance.

4. I AM CHANGING - Darius Dahoff - Dreamgirls
In a twist, a male singer sings Effie's 2nd big number. This was a recording of Broadway Unplugged. A series that has singers perform in a Broadway theatre without the use of microphones so the audience are treated to a "true" performance. This song is sublime. He totally rips it up Jennifer Holliday style and the fact that he is completely live makes it even more fabulous. The audience get really into as the song peaks and it never fails to send shivers down my spine!

5. 9 TO 5 - The Cast - 9 to 5 The Musical
This is being released mid July but the official site has had this recording on for a few months. It's the song we all know and love but Dolly has added more lyrics and having seen it, it's a great opening number. Allison Janney is ok, Megan Hilty sounds like Dolly and Stephanie Block just wants to belt all the time. It's real good fun and when that typewriter starts pinging, you know you're in for a great time!

CHASING FARRAH

2009-06-25T20:50:00.002+01:00

Sadly, camp icon and the most luminous Angel has passed away today. Farrah Fawcett don't forget the Majors had been struggling with cancer. Farrah had become the most famous of Angels in Charlie's Angels with her fabulous hair, the picture sold over 12 million copies. She appeared in Playboy twice and battled with Ryan O'Neal and drugs allegedly!

Farrah embodied the seventies and despite only one season on the Angels she left an indelible mark. Her reality show, Chasing Farrah a few years was dire beyond belief - but now she will always be an Angel.

I'M NOT GOING IN, I'M JUST VISITING

2009-06-21T20:28:00.003+01:00

I have been OBSESSED and that is OBSESSED in capital letters with The Real Housewives of New Jersey. These girls are nuts and the season finale proved it. Danielle who is more pulled than Nicole Kidman had a book written about her and so brought it to the dinner table. She then told fellow Real Housewife, Teresa to pay attention and Teresa just went apeshit and started screaming and flipped the goddamn table! The clip was repeated, reversed and repeated at least 10 times from various angles in the space of 5 minutes.

Almost as outrageous is Janice Dickinson, she was interviewed by Perez Hilton this week via grainy webcam. She was in bed and could barely open her eyes they were so puffy from the coke, I mean the sleepless nights in the jungle. I love Janice but she is really so self important. Normally she introduces herself as "Janice Dickinson, World's first Supermodel" Now though, she has gotten so nonchalant about the whole thing and referred to herself as "Janice Dickinson, World's First" And that was it, nothing else! It was the nuts!

On top of that, I met a guy last night who tried to finger me, I told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn't getting a digit or 4 up there to which he replied "I'm not going in, I'm just visiting" It made me laugh and love his cockring a bit more, that was until I almost chipped my teeth banging against it.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

2009-06-14T21:57:00.002+01:00

Do you ever get those days that are just BLAH? I'm having one today. I got up and have been washing and drying clothes for what seems like an eternity. I went to the parents for some dinner and to admire their new shower room which is impressive. Then back home to put more clothes on the clothes horse and watch some TV. It's just blah and all I want is to hit the streets of New York, take in a show and then go dancing.

If a Sunday could ever be classed as a Groundhog Day then today is it for me. Normal service will be resumed shortly. I have a big gay wedding to attend on Thursday and I need some new shoes for it. I'm still assembling a semi quirky but stylish and appropriate wedding outfit for the occasion. Maybe the blahness hasn't been helped because I've not been to the gym since Friday and have drank and eaten like a big fat cunt the past 2 days. I am soooo going to kick some butt tomorrow night when I'm there and shake it off!

HE DID IT!

2009-06-13T13:11:00.002+01:00

My all time favourite gogo boy, Geronimo, won GoGo Idol the other night in Manhattan! I've been keeping abreast of the situation thanks to online and youtube videos.

I tried to add a vid of Geronimo so you could see how badly he dances or moves about but alas, Blogger is fucking me over and won't let me post it.

So I don't quite know what the winning criteria was for Geronimo to win. He never gets his dick out but is more than happy to take your dollar bills and have them stuck where the sun shouldn't shine but possibly does. I don't think there was a judging panel except which gay screams the loudest or which gogo boy makes the most money but it doesn't matter.

Geronimo won GoGo Idol and he's got the leaf to prove it!

PARTYING SHOPS SHOWS BOYS

2009-06-11T21:55:00.003+01:00

This pic is rather grainy and does look almost like a Crimewatch Photofit - however it's not. My mate Jon took it on Earthcam when Cameron and I were in Times Square the other week. Cam's wearing the beenie hat and I'm actually giving the "peace" sign although it doesn't look it with the pic!

New York was everything I hoped for and more - we missed our flight going out. I am normally a stickler for preparation and so checked in online. When we arrived, there had been a mix up. I was about to turn into one of those annoying travellers who turns up at the cheap budget airline desk 3 hours late for a flight. The colour did drain from my face however the girl on the desk was excellent and shifted us to the Edinburgh flight 3 hours later. A bus journey and a stiff vodka later we were on our way!

New York is the city of possibilities and anything seemed possible for the time we were there. Cam was like a Japanese tourist taking loads of pictures. The man noticed that the Empire State Building changed colour every night, although we were only a few blocks down from it, I barely noticed. It was good to see when I was trying to get directions to the hotel at 6am in the morning a few times!

The nightlife was superb, we tried a different part of Manhattan each night to get a real flavour - we hit Chelsea, The West Village, The East Village, Meatpacking District, Hells Kitchen and then a hotel in Midtown for some partying. It was outrageous, crazy, debauched and sleazy and most of all - fabulous. The drinks were strong and chilled as were the men. I had some fun with a few boys and then some!

Cam's sister came up from Virginia beach with her friend who lived in Brooklyn and we hit the town with them for a few nights. They were excellent company and we had such a laugh, the Brooklyn girl showed us a few sights and what was even better was that these girls could drink! They were also boy magnets as they looked so fierce so we got chatting to some hot boys aswell!

The food was delicious and we hit up some fabulous restaurants, like Vynl where I took a piss in the Dolly Parton toilet and Elmo where we had brunch and I had some Kir Royales on a Sunday afternoon outside people watching. There were more and it was just so "New York"

On top of the ridiculous partying, I managed to shop throughout Manhattan and basically build a new wardrobe full of clothes and especially underwear. I have a thing about underwear so hit Century 21 and went mental buying copious amounts of pairs of knickers. A vital part of any decent gay boy's closet. Armani was rattled, so was the delicious Pat Field Boutique where we stocked up in some one off crazy tops and I got a fierce chain which was right up my alley.

Then there were the shows. UNBELIEVABLE! We saw 9 to 5 with Allison Janney, Stephanie Block and Megan Hilty and met them after the show! Then it was HAIR. This is possibly the best show I've ever seen. The cast or tribe as they're called were nothing short of amazing and it was the most excited I've been at the theatre since hearing Idina Menzel sing Defying Gravity nearly 3 years ago in London at Wicked. The Saturday night, we met with Cam's sis and her friend and took in Rock of Ages which was a total surprise and lots of fun. That afternoon, I took in Next To Normal which although was very intense, was a brilliant show, mainly down to the fabulous Alice Ripley as Diana. On Sunday, I had a requirement that we revisit HAIR. Although we had great orchestra seats the first time, Cam and I snagged front row seats at the aisle and were really part of the show. To see Gavin Creel, Will Swenson and Sasha Allen tear up the show and Let The Sunshine In was a joy and the fact that yet again we were on the stage at the end made it all the more special.

I can't wait to get back to New York in October to see Kylie Minogue and take in some more partying and hopefully some more hot boys and shows and shops.

A BRIEF INTERLUDE

2009-06-06T23:00:00.006+01:00

I have plenty to say about my jaunt to NYC but as a taster, thought I'd show a hot gogo boy from the city who can't dance but looks lovely. His name is Geronimo and I think he definitely is! He's the one in the middle looking mighty Geronimo!

STORY OF A HEART

2009-05-25T15:37:00.002+01:00

I'm off to NYC in a few hours for 6 days of debauchery and glamour. Before I do, I have so much to do packing wise and tidying the place up before my brother flat sits for me.

What has kept me going today has been that Benny Andersson from Abba has released a new pop track with his group The Benny Andersson Band. It's called Story Of A Heart and is definitely ABBAtastic. The singer sounds just like Agnetha at the top of the song and then it rocks into a very familiar sound, the hook is there as with all ABBA songs, the only thing missing is the unbelievable voices of Agnetha and Frida.

It's the closest we will ever get to new Abba material (Bjorn from Abba rewrote the lyrics into English) and it is absolute dynamite!! I haven't got it on mp3 yet as it had it's world premiere on English radio this morning. I have it on loop just now. Just spinetingling!!!!

SLUT OF ALL TIME

2009-05-17T20:21:00.003+01:00

Well possibly not as much as Liz Taylor said she was in the trashy Butterfield 8. Can you believe she won the Oscar for THAT performance?!! But I digress, since turning 30 I have possibly been the sluttiest I've been in years. It has to stop if only so I can catch my cummy breath.

It got so bad on Friday night that I actually got a guy round that I'd never even met. We chatted briefly online and I saw a pic (the more I type, the worse it sounds) he said he was in to chat but within 15 mins he had my address and was on his way over. I looked at the pic and thought he would do a turn. I called my friend and asked him to call me back in half an hour, if I didn't answer then the guy was clearly a serial killer and had sliced and diced me and he was to come round and see the carnage.

Anyway I freshened my frou frou and sure enough twenty minutes later, the buzzer went and I was pleasantly surprised to see a guy who was way hotter than the guy in the pic. It was the same guy but the pic did him no justice. He barely got in the flat before I was kissing him and things got very whorey for a while. I basically threw him about like a wet trackie for a few hours and sent him packing. I must say I was disappointed that he didn't have a hot bod. It was tight but nothing to shout about. He was an excellent kisser which made up for it and also for a hot guy I met being a bad kisser last week. Then there was the guy who wanted me to shove some chocolate up hom and let it melt out and eat it. The same guy said that he had been arranging to meet a guy and get a condom filled with spunk and do unimaginable things with it.

There have been other incidents shall we say in the past few weeks with partying a lot being slutty that have been occurring. I am off to New York in a few weeks so will keep my whoring ways in check til I end up at The Cock or something and end up doing more than sticking a dollar note down a gogo boys thong!

In other news, not only am I off to New York in just over a week but will be heading back over there in October to see Miss Kylie Minogue!!! Jon organised the tickets so another wee jaunt has been organised!

And finally - today is the 5th anniversary of my blog! Yes, I've been talking shite (mainly to myself) for 5 whole years. I could do a big retrospective but I really don't want to - I'm still getting over seeing Steffi Graf back on court with her husband Andre Agassi this afternoon as Wimbeledon celebrated it's new roof on Centre Court. She's still the best tennis player in the world. Full stop from the slut!

HOLIDAY..CELEBRATION...

2009-05-13T21:17:00.003+01:00

It's less than 2 weeks til I go to NYC - I'm too excited for words. Well maybe not or I wouldn't be able to type or talk!

A few shows planned and lots of partying will just be fabulous! Before all that, I've been doing some overtime at the gym and sweating my fanny off with my trainer whipping me into some kind of shape.

I am desperate to see Hair and 9 to 5 and Next To Normal and fit in some shopping, showtunes, showbars and gogo bars!

Why does it always take ages to arrive but I bet the holiday will go past in a flash!

TOP 25 CAMP FILMS OF ALL TIME - 5

2009-05-04T19:52:00.002+01:00

STRAITJACKET

You thought I'd forgotten didn't you? Well I almost had - it's been around 6 months since number 6 in what seems to be this never ending countdown. I've had other things that take precedent in my mind when blogging rather than lists or countdowns and am inspired to write about them on the spur of the moment rather than a planned post - but I digress - even just a little. The subject of tonight's lecture is STRAIT-JACKET. A trite little thriller starring Joan Crawford.

Hot on the heels of her success in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane, she is approached by director William Castle to star in another vehicle. She played a woman in her 50s but Crawford insisting on lopping off a few years and making her in her 40s who comes home one night to find her husband sleeping with his ex girlfriend. Devastated, she bumps into a log with an axe and takes her revenge the only way she knows how, by chopping their heads off and being declared insane. In the present day (well 1964) she is declared sane again and allowed to come home and live with her daughter and her brother and his wife and then................. the killings start again.

High drama and higher camp of the highest degree. Joan literally dominates every scene and there are some real corkers in here, I was literally slapping my lips together with satisfaction at some of the delights shown on here. From the sight of 60 something Joanie at the start of the movie, strutting off that Chattanooga ChooChoo train with all the confidence of a 20 year old hooker and the narrator saying "Lucy Harbin - born and raised on a farm. Parents : poor, education : meagre. Very much a woman - and very much aware of the fact"

Then we see Joan's character get a makeover after all the murder - and lo and behold, she looks just like she did twenty years before, complete with jet black wig and jangly bracelets. Joan also starts seeing visions of decapitated heads and bloody axes around the house and feels she is getting more and more crazy. As a result, or maybe because of the wig, she starts to drink and gets more than a bit cocky. She lights up her cigarette by striking her matches on a record player, she also manages to almost seduce her daughter's fiance in front of her daughter. She even goes so far as to stick her finger in his mouth more than a little suggestively. Joan in this movie goes the full gamut of emotions and although it's a small time thriller - Joan Crawford manages to lift the whole picture to a fascinating view. I couldn't keep my eyes off her or what she was going to do next. Without spoiling the movie, the killer is revealed and it's not a shock. It's fabulous to see.

BEHIND THE SCENES INFO AND TRIVIA

- Lucy's doctor was played by a director on the board of Pepsi Cola - Joan had promised him a part.

- Because Joan was associated with Pepsi Cola, the set was filled with coolers full of Pepsi, Joan also managed to get a 6 pack of Pepsi on screen, the first case of product placement!

- Joan Blondell was originally due to play Lucy but fell through a door in her house and Joan Crawford was approached to do the role, although told that it was her role all along.

- Crawford had script and cast approval, her rider included Bourbon and 100 proof vodka, carton's of cigarettes and the temperature on set no more than 50 degrees to keep her makeup firm on her face.

- Diane Baker who played Joan's daughter Carol was cast as Joan had worked with her in "The Best of Everything"

- The end of the movie had the killer revealed and going insane themselves. Joan had another scene rewritten that showed her breaking down and then revealing and tieing up the loose ends - so she could get the last word and scene.

- Best line: DR - Lucy, how do you spend your time? LUCY - Knitting!

- Oscar winner, George Kennedy played a farmhand who meets a sticky end

- Long before The Fall Guy, Lee Majors was cast as the husband of Lucy.

- A bust found from the vaults of MGM was used in a scene, it was a bust made of Joan at her most beautiful from the 1930s.

- Joan toured with the film at at appearances, pulled out a fake axe from under her skirt, much to the delight of the fans who came to see her.

NEVER MOAN, IT'S JUST JOAN

2009-04-27T22:28:00.003+01:00

I know I've not blogged in over a week, I have managed to spend lots on clothes and kitting myself out on a cheeky few outfits. So I know normal service will be resumed pretty soon, here's Joan waiting patiently with some perky tits for a woman of 109!

SELF CHEERING

2009-04-19T22:24:00.003+01:00

To cheer myself up because I've reached thirty and have been in the throes of depression since last Monday, I am posting a few pics from my weekend! I had a great session with my trainer yesterday where he busted my butt and my back by the way it feels as I am a bit stiff! It was good to get worked real hard and hopefully will see more of an improvement before my trip to New York in 5 weeks! I watched the episode of Sex and The City where Carrie turned 35 and nobody showed up at her party and she felt really alone without a man in her life but her friends came to the rescue in the coffee shop and professed themselves as her soulmates. I really relate to that episode. Especially as she wears a fabulous cape!

ME AND THE GYM GIRLS

ME AND SOME OLD FRIENDS

BIT OF A GROUP PIC

IS THIS THE STONEY END?

2009-04-17T23:23:00.002+01:00

I turned 30 last week which was just fabulous. All of my friends and family showered me with their love and gifts and time and made it a fabulous weekend. On Thursday I headed for a family dinner, had a dinner with a friend on Friday, trained on Saturday before shopping my tits off and hitting the dancefloor on Saturday night before the main event on Sunday. I did manage to suck some decent cock over the weekend aswell! Easter Sunday was my actual birthday, my parents picked me up and we had a lovely lunch. That night 14 of my closest friends all had a dinner at the beautiful Oran Mor in the Westend. I was given a beautiful watch, some great aftershave and more importantly, I got to have loads of my friends all enjoying themselves! Some of my friends from literally 10 years ago were all laughing and joking together and it was just great to see. After dinner, we headed back to Jon's for drinks which turned out perfectly aswell. Everyone I had invited turned up, some old friends again and some of the gym boys and we all looked super glam, the drink just flowed and could I say "and" more in that sentence?!. After copious amounts of booze were drunk we all hit the Polo Lounge for some major dancing and even more drinking. By the time 5am came, I was knacked big style and had to hit the hay after just a superb day. I can't thank all my friends and family enough for just really embracing my day!

Monday was a bit of a waste as I was just no fun at all - after such a great night, anything else would be a disappointment so I was pretty blah and watched some Brothers and Sisters on dvd and cried at certain points. Since then, loads of my friends have text or spoken to me that they had a fabulous time on Sunday which is really heartwarming. I had totally drank myself into oblivion so back to the gym on Tuesday was not a pretty sight. The vodka and champagne oozed back through my pores and it took the majority of Tuesday's session to actually get back to some level of fitness. I majorly struggled.

Now, almost a week later and I'm officially in my thirties, it has made me think quiet a bit about my future. Is this the end? The next big birthday I will semi celebrate will be my 35th. I might have to rewatch a few episodes of Sex and The City to get that whole thirtysomething fierce attitude. It has made me search my soul more than Vonda Shepard in an episode of Ally McBeal. Do I start dating after basically ten years of slutting about a bit? Is a relationship the right thing? Will I settle? What will happen in the next episode of Mad Men? What will Kylie do next? Where is my career headed? What's next for me? All these questions and more are wanting answered - who knows what's next? I was supposed to go out for a wee while tonight, I'd be taking the car as I have a training session tomorrow but even at that, I'm a bit tired - is this because I'm 30 or just cos I was in the gym for a late session tonight til about 9pm? I might drag this tired old ancient carcass out or I could just chillax and have an early night. Decisions, Decisions.......

Listening to - Speakerphone - Kylie - KYLIEX2008

IT TOOK SO LONG TO BAKE IT

2009-04-04T15:21:00.003+01:00

I spent all last weekend in London for a simply fabulous mini holiday.

I arrived last Thursday to be met by my friend who took me for a workout in one of the gyms that he works in. It was so much smaller than the gym I go to in Glasgow. It goes to show that space really is a commodity in London. The equipment was good and I ran like Madonna with her adoption appeal - ie very quickly! The only down side other than the size was that the showers were a bit vile. I was cleaner when I came out but not by much! There's nothing worse than a grotty shower area and this gym had it in spades.

After dinner we met up with some of Rod's(my mate) friends. I have known them for ages and we had a fabulous dinner at St Katherine's Wharf. I had never been here but the food was delicious in a Chinese restaurant called Ping Pong and then onto a bar beside it where we were met by an office party complete with Miranda from Sex and the City lookalike going wild and some Bon Jovi and Van Halen as the soundtrack. It was bizarre but we were all quite merry so it was fine.

Friday was shopping heaven as Rod's mate Ollie met us and we hit the shops. After going crazy in Top Man of all shops, we headed home to put on the new threads and hit the town Pink Style for Priscilla Queen Of The Desert The Musical. This show is actually right up there with Wicked and The Drowsy Chaperone and A Chorus Line as one of my favourites. It was just fabulous. The costumes were outrageous and the atmosphere was electric. I kept on whooping like a silly school boy. It all started at dinner when we were getting hyped up for the show with wine and then having a drink in the bar beforehand and then of course the show itself was too camp for words. We all said that Will Baker will be taking his ideas for Kylie's next tour from some of the acts in Priscilla. Jason Donovan was fabulous in the part of Tick and they played up some Kylie jokes and Neighbours jokes. One character says about Kylie - "She's always be Charlene to me" to which Jason Donovan replies "I always preferred Scott myself!" Although it was a jukebox musical, the songs were just fabulous and fitted each moment perfectly. Where else could you get a cake lying out in the rain to be followed up with Macarthur Park from Donna Summer? the Divas turned up throughout to sing their tits off whilst the main characters mimed a bit doing their drag performance and their voices were unbelievable. The show is definite weekend material and the band and cast were so into it, you could tell by the volume and enthusiasm of the orchestra and the riffs that the main characters were belting. Non stop fun - I can't wait to go back.

Saturday was back at the gym to sweat out the wine I had drunk the night before. I wasn't really in the mood but I'm glad I went. Then it was off to another show - well a beautiful dinner first and then Spring Awakening. Not at all like the mardi gras atmosphere of Priscilla but actually a great show. Apparently, the cast were all hired right out of drama school and the rock musical was brilliant. I didn't know a lot of the songs but seeing a cheeky teenage boy pull a microphone out of his breeches and sing "Totally Fucked" whilst in a turn of the century German classroom was just a tonic. Definitely not for a Saturday night but probably more Thursday. It was more deep and meaningful with some bizarre fantasy sequences. Fabulous. Rod and his mates decided to treat me to a different Saturday night in Clapham at The 2 Brewers. It was like being back in Glasgow and we drank enough booze to sink a ship.

I managed to drag Rod out of his bed on Sunday to do a final bit of shopping (I was running out of knickers) so we hit Selfridges and ended up having dinner in town drinking champagne and seeing Stephen Gately looking more pulled in the face than Jackie Stallone. That night, his friend James showed up with a bottle of champagne and it would have been rude not to partake on top of the wine we had whilst getting ready to go to Horsemeat Disco. I have heard loads about Horsemeat Disco and was excited to go to a pure disco night in a pub that was a blacked out Queen Vic from Eastenders - which it was! It was bear heaven and James was a dirty little minx talking to all sorts of BILFS(Bears I'd Like to Fuck) and GWWDAT(Gurners Who Would Do A Turn) I also arranged to meet the fabulous LOST IN LONDON blogger in Horsemeat Disco. I emailed to say I was heading down and although we've spoken for a few years online, have never met up. This time was different and we had a good natter about blogging, bitching, booze and boys and I'm sure Bea Smith may have come into conversation. Lost Boy and his boyfriend were just lovely and very welcoming which made things more fun, especially with the disco background. They were giving me some of their chat about London and living there and also in Edinburgh. For some reason I thought that Lost Boy hailed from Edinburgh and I was disappointed that i didn't hear the scottish accent but rather a London one and not a hint of Yorkshire one which is where he was brought up! a couple of vodkas later though and it was all dancing to disco beats! The music was excellent from start to finish. We came in at one point to Diana Ross singing Love Hangover and a simply superb mix of "If You Could Read My Mind" I'm still hunting it down. After saying goodbye to Lost Boy I continued to dance on with my mates and somehow 6 of us ended up on Rod's roof of his building drinking cans of beer and having a natter. His old friend Jason was out and his chat was excellent, even at 5 in the morning in the freezing cold of London!

I really didn't want to leave as it was one of my favourite times ever in London. Rod and all his mates made me feel so welcome and part of the group. I danced and drank my tits off, sweated them at the gym, drank enough wine and champagne to keep Angela Channing in business, saw some amazing shows, got my very own Oyster card (I'm so London now!) met a blogger, shopped a good bit and had a great laugh the whole time. Now I'm 30 in just over a week and then it's NYC 6 weeks after that. If it's even half as good as my last jaunt I will be a happy bunny!

Listening to - We Belong - Priscilla Queen Of The Desert The Musical

THURSDAY IN THE PARK WITH ROSS

2009-04-02T22:10:00.002+01:00

I spent a hellish afternoon in the park. I loved it as my trainer and I went for a jog to the park and then got stuck into some serious circuits. It felt like summer is approaching as the weather was great. The park was full of students lazing about and kids at playschool and me sweating my bollocks off with Ross my trainer pushing me hard.

It was all good fun and a totally different workout session - nothing better than getting out of the gym but I did actually manage to do some boxing (yes you read that correctly dear reader) boxing in the park. Because the sessions are so intense I have no idea what I must have looked like and before long we were back at the gym with me still sweating my bollocks off.

I hope the good weather continues into next week - it's my birthday on Easter Sunday so I daresay it will be raining but plans are afoot for some more sessions in the gym so I look my Sunday best for turning 30. It will be dinner at Oran Mor then drinks then out to the Polo Lounge with around 15 of my nearest and dearest. I will be having a separate dinner a few days before with the family. Who knew turning this old could be sociable?!! After that weekend it's head down and get working big style in the gym until my trip to NYC 6 weeks later.

So a glorious and very different Thursday was spent in the park with Ross today and I have the sore muscles to prove it!

More on my recent jaunt to London tomorrow I think - there's too much to go through in this post.

Listening to - Jane McDonald - One Voice

FUCKED OVER ALMOST ROYALLY

2009-03-24T22:39:00.003Z

I am furious. I came out of the gym to find my mobile phone not working. I changed phones recently and took out a new contract but the bloody thing isn't switching on. And on top of that, I'm unhappy with the dental work I had done, I get the feeling a filling has come out - my teeth are very sensitive and that's not normal.

So right now, I am fucked over almost royally - I feel like Fergie after the toesucking escapade - that fucked off!

MELODIFESTIVALEN MELTDOWN

2009-03-23T20:44:00.003Z

Alcazar sadly didn't win Melodifestivalen this year. It's been a bit of an outrage and I'm not happy. On top of that, one of my other favourite singers, Agnes - placed second bottom.

The Swedes may not have a large country but they can churn out their decent pop music Euro style. It's all very camp and outrageous. Between Carola, Charlotte Perrelli last year and Alcazar discoing their tits off - it's great for dancing to.

Agnes, not only does she have a bad first name but she wore gold lurex and had a wind machine in the final. The song was midtempo disco which I loved. I knew I had read about her somewhere else and sure enough, on that other fab blog Don't Stop The Pop, the author is more than just an afficianado of pop music and there was an interview with Aggie - or should I call her Senga? Anyway I downloaded her album Love Dance Pop and sure enough, it's almost as good as Alcazar's. Senga can get a bit monotonous and a few songs run into the next without much difference but on the whole, it's damn good pop.

Other than Senga (who won Swedish Idol in 2006 I think) there was another band who placed 3rd in Melodifestivalen. Some scary operatic bird got a very undeserved 1st place and will represent Sweden in 2009's Eurovision Song Contest. The band is made up of boys who used to be in Swedish Idol shows and they are called EMD. They are all terribly sexy and did a whole 'Sam Sparro let's disco and wear suits with top hats' routine that looked a bit messy. The good thing was that they were all rather hot and the song is just camp. I love the way the Swedish really highlight some of their consonants - it sounds more English than most British people sound!

Nothing will be any camper than Alcazar doing Stay The Night wearing Neon and botoxed out their brains. The song has elements of Amii Stewart's Knock on Wood and they sang their hearts out - my favourite midtempo song just now is "Put The Top Down" it lets the girls take centre stage for at least 2 lines of the song and they belt out like nobody's business.

Listening to - Agnes - On and On (Dance Love Pop)

SORE TIMES AT THE GYM IN DISCO HIGH

2009-03-19T21:44:00.005Z

I'm in a wee bit of pain as I write. I went to the dentist today to get a filling (no tacky jokes please) and the bitch injected me twice, once was enough but then she asked me to turn my head and injected me actually in the cheek. I actually moaned it was sore. Now I'm fine with needles when going to the dentist but I'm not so great with anaesthetic and for a few minutes I felt sick. I rallied and let her do her stuff. After a while I was let out of that prison and this afternoon whilst till numb, I entered my latest personal training session. They are going really well and I definitely am feeling the benefits. He totally killed me today, we did clean and presses, shuttle runs, pressups, throwing medicine balls, dynamic lunges, lunges with weights and to finish some boxing. Yes - boxing. I was sweating my tits off and wasn't 100% after my anaesthetic. I said I didn't feel that fit but we kept on going. I actually was really tired but toward the end I got into and enjoyed it. I am stepping up the sessions before I go to London next week so I am in tip top shape. I persuaded Rod when he was up at the weekend that we go and see A Little Night Music. I hope it's good, the reviews are excellent and it's opening night when we go. This is on top of Priscilla Queen of The Desert which should be a blast!

I have had Alcazar's new album on repeat all week - I can't get enough and every few days my favourite song is changing - definitely the sign of a good album. It's like a disco in my flat just now with all the dancing I've been doing. All I need is a handbag and some lipstick and I'm good to go!

Today I was pleased to get "Barbra - The Concerts" on DVD. It was David's birthday on Monday so we all went for a fabulous dinner to Julia's. All the gays and Julia had the biggest laugh - it was just what I was needing. After dinner, we sat around blethering and noticed the ad for Barbra's new DVD. It has her most recent tour in 2006, another tour in 1994 and The Making of The Broadway Album. 3 DVDs of La Streisand was too much to resist and Amazon had it at a knock down price so today between the pain, I experienced that silky dame called Barbra schlepping her Streisand ass round a stage. She is well pulled and although I think she's quite rehearsed with her adlibbing and her costumes in both tours are nothing short of horrendous, the voice is unmistakably amazing. Barbra has proven that you don't need stunning looks to be successful. She does have a great stage presence although when she brought on her fucking dog I felt like Kathy Griffin did when she saw Barbra do her Oprah appearance "Jesus Barbra, we can't relate" This feeling dissipated entirely when I saw her kick up her heels and do a version of "Stoney End" Flawless.

Listening to = Barbra Streisand - The Way We Were (Live In Concert 2006)

CAMP AGATHA

2009-03-15T21:15:00.002Z

Another week has passed without a blog entry. I have been working out like a fiend. In fact, my dedication is such that on Saturday morning (yesterday) I was to be found squatting for my life with my trainer at half 9. I was so exhausted, I went to the cafe in the gym for some breakfast after the session and could barely lift my glass. It was so difficult but rewarding as I am definitely feeling the benefit of working out. I'm off to London next week so doing one or two more sessions with Ross my trainer to help get me in tiptop condition.

I also went out last night for a crazy night, Rod my friend from London is up for a few days and we went had a mental night out. There were 8 of us just cutting a rug on the dancefloor and doing crazy shots. This was followed by a trip to the casino which is actually like something out of the 1980s. It was all carpeted and bright and absolutely jumping at 4 in the morning. They have a late alcohol license so get all the gays going in, betting their butts off and acting like card sharks. I just got confused and found the whole situation surreal so headed to the sauna for some well needed man action.

Alcazar's album Disco Defenders was released and it really is fabulous. I would review it but I'm too into it to type. I must say, there is a track called Harlem Nights which is a definite pastiche of Beyonce's Single Ladies and a song that The Pet Shop Boys wrote called Baby which is utter trash. More on the camp band later. Speaking of camp......

I have become slightly obsessed again with Agatha Christie novels. I bought an omnibus of her novels that don't have Poirot or Miss Marple in them as the sleuth. I just finished "N or M" which had Tommy and Tuppence as the crime fighters during the war in a boarding house trying to find a 5th columnist. it was rather twee and Agatha had me twisting in knots and there were plenty of red herrings. I did have a suspicion about M but had no idea who the N was. I know that last sentence is confusing but read the book and you will understand! Now I move on to one of the best book titles ever - Sparkling Cyanide. The set up is totally different from N or M and the timeline is jumping and the main characters are distorted. In fact, I'm the sleuth so far. It's all very camp. There are a catalogue of different suspects and characters with motives to committing a dastardly deed. They all seem like plausible but we shall see what Agatha has up her sleeve with whodunnit. Borders books were doing a special deal on Agatha novels yesterday. It was buy one and get one free - so I did. I'm being careful and buying novels that I've not read and know the result. That would spoil it. I have seen the movie "Death On The Nile" at least 20 times but never tire of watching it. Reading the book after seeing the movie actually spoiled it for me. As I knew Agatha's twist was coming. I'd much prefer to get the surprise! So Sparkling Cyanide and then who knows what one will be next!?

SPARSE

2009-03-08T19:14:00.003Z

My blogging has been sparse recently. I spend most nights working out in the gym and work has been tough. I have managed to go to the flicks to see Confessions of a Shopaholic and also gone out for dinner a few times in the past week and drank too much wine at a wine tasting night last night.

I fully intend to pick up the reigns of blogging again now. I've been watching copious amounts of Prisoner Cell Block H as the show recently celebrated it's 30th anniversary with some events in Australia. Val Lehman aka Queen Bea Smith organised a BBQ in the grounds of the infamous prison otherwise known as the old Channel 10 and my friend Barry, who runs the official website for Prisoner also had an event hosted by Maggie Kirkpatrick aka The Freak the next night with various stars from later years of Prisoner accompanying her. I would have loved to go to these events, especially after meeting Maggie Millar (Marie Winter) and also Amanda Muggleton (Chrissie Latham) last year. Barry has promised more surprises this year so fingers crossed this becomes more regular and the stars of one of my favourite shows grace the UK shores again!

Despite all the training in the gym, I've been sadly neglecting my sex life. My trainer gets me worked up into a frenzy anyway as he's both hot and very good at his job. Last night though I was climbing the proverbial walls and had to get laid which I did royally. I woke up this morning to a random text message from a guy. The problem is, I don't know which one he is and whether to reply. Nothing is ever simple is it!?

I'm still on the healthy eating and my trainer has been giving me hints and tips on what to eat and what not to eat. I go to London in a few weeks so am determined to lay off the booze a bit more and be more strict. I have never eaten so much fruit in my life but he wants me eating more protein. I agree so last night I made sure I swallowed! And I will still be eating more protein with the advice he gave me. I simply must be in tip top condition with going to London and then New York this year. It's going to be a blast!!

Listening to - Agnes - Love Love Love (Melodifestivalen 2009)

DISCO DEFENDERS

2009-03-02T21:47:00.002Z

The campest band ever known to man, woman or beast release their new album next week. Alcazar, those Swedish icons of all things glittery, disco and camp release Disco Defenders!

It's fabulous as all of Alcazar's music tends to have great Eurobeat disco music, sometimes sampling and always very tongue in cheek. They've gone through a few incarnations with Andreas, Tess and Annikafiore - then Andreas' boyfriend Magnus joined and he had camp hair. Then they disbanded for a while and have now returned with Andreas, Tess and new girl Lina. The above picture is the new album cover and it's got me super excited!

I've already heard 3 of the tracks in full as 2 have been released and the new one "Stay The Night" is currently in the final of Sweden's entry for the Eurovision Song Contest. Every year, Melodifestivalen causes a near riot and is always as popular as the UK's X Factor.

Pet Shop Boys and Anders Hansson have helped write the new album and I can just imagine a big disco ball exploding when I play it on repeat (which I will!)

HEALTHY BLOWOUT

2009-02-22T21:51:00.004Z

Last night I changed my ways and went out. It was the first Saturday night I had been out all of 2009.

I had a session with my personal trainer in the afternoon and we were chatting and I said I felt like a boring fuck because I'm turning 30 and not going out. He said he thought I was a party boy deep down and so last night I decided to kick up my heels and went to Death Disco at The Arches with my mate Stewart and some of his pals. To say it was a mental night would be an understatement and I'm not sure if my sore legs today are from the heavy squats I was doing with my trainer or from all the dancing I did. Other than that, Cameron and I headed out to the flicks the night before and caught Confessions Of A Shopaholic. I've not been a fan of Isla Fisher since her days as annoying Shannon in Home and Away but I must say, stick her in a designer dress, make her goofy with physical comedy and you have a winner. The movie had some real laugh out loud moments and Hugh Dancy was simply dashing as the male lead. Isla brightened up my night - as did the dresses (of which there were hundreds)

The club was pretty quiet for a Saturday night but the music was immense and we were all busting some good shapes. One of the girls who was with us got completely smashed and could barely walk straight. She's from Aberdeen so I guess they get out less than myself!

To be honest, it's been great on my bank balance this month. Staying in a bit, less boozing and going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week have meant I've eaten healthier foods and not binged on takeaway for weeks. My diet could still be better but it's going in the right direction.

Working with my personal trainer has also been a godsend. I am officially obsessed with all things fitness. I get a real buzz from it all and although at times I feel like I could throw up over him from the way he works me - I am starting to feel the benefits. He did say it will take months for me to see my body change shape but I am loving going and have far more energy than I've had in years.

I guess one big blow out every so often is good for you. Mine was last night and it's back on the treadmill tomorrow to work my ass off and improve on this body of mine. I have London in a month and then New York 2 months after that so plenty of time to push myself further and get healthier! A girl's gotta have a dream of a tight body and less body fat!!

CONFESSIONS OF A DIRTY MIDDEN

2009-02-22T03:21:00.001Z

To be told when I'm sober and not so smashed - later today.

SAMBA DEVIL

2009-02-10T22:59:00.002Z

I found the studio remix version of Kylie's Better The Devil You Know that she played on the last part of her X2008 tour. She premiered that in South America and it's all trumpets and tin pan beats. If this song got any gayer or camper it had to just have some whistles in it and I'm sure I can hear them in it anyway.

I've got it on repeat on the iStation and am doing my own Samba Style dancing to it! It's such a devil! If I close my eyes I feel like im in the carni like Lane Ballou from Flamingo Road!

THE TOWN MATTRESS

2009-02-06T21:52:00.002Z

Not so much the town mattress but I have changed mattresses today and My God what a difference. I stay in a 2 bedroom flat and for the past year or so have found my mattress getting more and more uncomfortable. Then tonight I had a brain wave that has taken me a year to figure out. Why didn't I just change mattresses? Nobody sleeps in the second bedroom that much unless someone has kipped over after a night out that I'm not having sex with so that's what I've done.

At this moment, I'm lying on my uber comfy bed with absolutely no squeaking or spring noises at all - sometimes it's the most boring things in life that satisfy!

I've got my next session with my trainer tomorrow so I hope I can manage a good nights sleep and be ready for another ass kicking like I got yesterday!

Listening to - All Time High - The City of Prague Philharmonic Orchestra

LET ME HEAR YOUR BODY TALK - MY BODY SAYS "FUCK YOU!"

2009-02-05T16:11:00.003Z

Olivia Newton John uttered those words almost 30 years ago. Well she said the first part. Today my body is saying the second part. At least I'm not talking to myself again which is an improvement on yesterday.

I had my first session with my new personal trainer on Tuesday. I had approached him in the gym last week and it was all arranged to meet on Tuesday. He asked various questions and did some height/weight and body fat measurements (I'm not impressed by my body fat content) I feel like I should be a big fat hog with the amount of fat kicking about this body. I was however, lighter than i thought which was a definite plus. He then proceeded to make me lift weight after weight until I reached my limit for my chest, arms and legs. And before that he made me do situps until I collapsed. After this, it was a straight run on the treadmill to see how far I could go.

Today the training started in earnest and my god he kicked my butt like you wouldn't believe. I was squatting and lunging and lifting weights and doing pressups until I thought I was going to be sick. He must have noticed but I am a bit hardcore so kept going. We did some interval training on the treadmill before situps on a ball which I found a bit of a struggle. I find him very encouraging and this was probably the best full on workout I've ever had. I think I might be sore tomorrow but I got such a kick out of the workout that I'm excited about our next session.

I've stuck some A4 on my fridge and diarising anything I'm eating - he's going to help my cut out the crap that I eat. I did say to him that I am a target driven sort of boy so he knows he can push me and I'm determined to succeed. I know it's going to take time but this gentle shove in the right direction that I'm going to be getting weekly will take me there so that body says "Ooh La La" rather than "Fuck You!"

Listening to - Dinah Washington - Relax Max

IT'S ALL GONE A BIT PETE TONG

2009-02-04T23:35:00.003Z

Or rather, I've discovered that I'm talking to myself a helluva lot.

I'm off this week from work so time has been spent sleeping a lot, reading, being online, singing, dancing and hitting the gym (more on that possibly tomorrow)

However, I had an epiphany the other day when in the shower when I found myself actually talking to myself like a crazy person. At first I thought "Shut up, Caress" but then a while later I was dusting and found myself chatting to myself and actually said "Oh God! I'm talking to myself like a crazy person"

Then lo and behold, I put on an episode of Will & Grace when Karen Walker talks to herself. Is it kismet? Since it all went wrong and I've certified myself crazy, I've made a real effort to try and not talk to myself when in the flat. Keeping myself busy has helped but I can't help it when watching a show. In the same episode of Will & Grace I found myself saying "Now that was funny!"

Who does this?? Am I going crazy? I'm rather proud of not talking whilst typing this post. Is worse to come and will I be the crazy gay who wears his cardigan talking to himself about showtunes and the neighbours?? Damn, I just re-read what I typed and I am that Crazy Gay.

Listening to - Andrea McArdle - Tomorrow (Live at Joe's Pub)

LOOSE DAY

2009-02-02T20:36:00.002Z

I'm off work on a lazy holiday - I was planning on going out and hitting the sauna but alas, the poor weather conditions that have affected most of the UK, affected my attitude to going out.

Instead I watched the 10 people in the Loose Women audience and one of my favourite moderators, Denise Welch. It actually made for a good show.

I think that's what being off and doing nothing is all about - I felt like a single mum in a council flat - except I'm not and I've definitely generalised but the world's a better place for Loose Women - it fills a great hour!

I just wish Denise was back more often. Instead of Jackie Brambles and Andrea McLean with her faux semi Scottish accent. And don't get me started on Colleen Nolan, she was as big a cunt as she normally is.

DUCHESS BEATON

2009-01-28T23:00:00.003Z

OK, you have to stop what you're doing and get your ass online and watch Gossip Girl. This show is just too fabulous - it's doing for the noughties what Dynasty and Melrose Place dis for the eighties and nineties. It even has stars from old Spelling/Darren Star shows. Kelly Rutherford, trampy old Megan the hooker from Melrose is Lily Van Der Woodsen, rich divorcee in Manhattan and also Madchen Amick, Carrie Fairchild from CPW is doing a 4 episode stint as Duchess Catherine Beaton.
The twists and turns are fabulous - I couldn't resist and watched the first episode online in September but then weaned myself off somehow to watch when it showed on TV here. It's been 3/4 months of torture and depriving myself of a seriously guilty pleasure.

Now thankfully, the show is airing every Wednesday night and it's an hour of heaven with more plot twists and rebound roulette than a teen magazine. The clothes are fabulous, the cast are gorgeous and everyone is so deliciously camp.

I'm hearing rumours that Blair and Serena get so desperate that they have no option but to hire their hated enemy Georgina Sparks to help them on a mission of destruction. This certifies the fact that Michelle Trachtenberg returns at the end of season 2 in USA.

On top of this, my best dressed male award goes to the delicious Ed Westwick as Chuck Bass - he wears tweed, scarves, bright clashing patterns and is definitely dandy in dress style that it's too good for words - one scene tonight had him in crisp pyjamas and fetching smoking jacket - all ready for bed. His hair is stunning and has cheekbones that could cut glass. More on Ed on another post as this one is dedicated to Madchen Amick - one of my all time favourite TV bitches. Although it's only for 4 episodes, I'd love to see her return for more escapades and wreak some Duchess Beaton style havoc into the lives of the cast of Gossip Girl! Especially with beautful dresses like the one above!

32 INCHES OF PLEASURE AND THE JENNIFERS

2009-01-26T22:22:00.004Z

Nothing is more important than those extra inches and 4 more can make all the difference. I bought a new TV yesterday and got rid of the old tired massive box that has been in my flat since I moved in nearly 5 years ago. Very little has changed since then except for the occasional lightbulb and candle or fake plant or real plant that I managed to kill with ease.

So this new TV is slightly bigger than before but it's flat and light and my iStation looks like a mini version of it sitting beside it. I'm thrilled, I'm seeing sights I've not seen before and I'm loving the sleekness and dark style of it.

On top of that I'm not long in from the gym. I finally plucked up the courage to talk to a personal trainer. I get incredibly intimidated when going to the gym, these guys are well defined, very fit and their physique seems almost god like. I talk to Stephen's trainer sometimes but I thought "Bugger it" and tonight as I minced upstairs for a BodyPump class, I clocked the hot trainer. We had all commented at how delicious he looked and he's offering half price sessions for January. Not only is he hot but cheap. Although I think his prices go up a fair bit. However, I'm going to splash out a bit for a while and see what effect he has on me. From talking to him - I think he will kick my ass. He talked about my destination and I've to keep a diary and all sorts - my first session is next week and already I'm nervous. I'm getting fitter but definitely could do with some direction in getting better results - I'm eating healthier but with this concentration on defining and toning and losing a few pounds then I will feel much happier! I did say to the guy that he doesn't know what he's letting himself in for but I'm sure he's seen worse and got results. We shall see! I have a few goals - I'm off to London at the end of March to see a few shows and catch up with my mate Rod - we're going partying and I am determined that I stay til the bitter end and have a ball. Then in May it's New York baby - I can't wait and want to be in tip top shape for these trips - 2 big cities with loads of hot guys - I intend to have a tale from two cities when I get back from them!!

Last night I got back in touch with a guy I have vaguely seen for the past few months on and off. Sort of a fuck bud but sort of wants to chat and every text has the words "Happy Days" in it - he's either a fan of The Fonz or is being sarcastic or is happy most days - I can't decide from the context of the texting. So he delighted in telling me that he's off to Johannesburg next week for 6 weeks with work and is in Bahrain this week - I was completely thrilled, especially when I'd quite like to get up close and personal with him. We have made some tentative plans to meet up and "watch a dvd" which could be a "Happy Days" code but means "buttfuck" instead. Whatever happens, the guy's a bruiser whom I've affectionately called Grant Mitchell because he's as burly as the said character from Eastenders and looks like he could rip half of Bahrain a new arsehole but is actually a gentle guy who like the Dreamgirls movie soundtrack a lot. I've still to properly educate him that Jennifer Holiday is miles ahead of Jennifer Hudson.

Listening to - Big Girls Don't Cry - Nick Skitz (BodyPump 68)

JUST A LITTLE TOUCH OF STAR QUALITY

2009-01-25T19:31:00.004Z

Patti Lupone from the Tonys. Blows your mind with an excellent rendition of Buenos Aires. Watch and enjoy... It might take a few minutes to load through depending how much filth is on your computer or the speed! Listen to the disco beat kick in earnest at 1.38 - completely fabulous.

MISS GRACE JONES

2009-01-24T20:31:00.003Z

On Thursday night I went to see the living legend that is Miss Grace Jones. This lady has been described by many but the one thing I would agree with them is that she's as crazy as can be.

Arriving on stage nearly 2 hours late, Grace looked the iconic figure of amazonian proportions singing Nightclubbing and she ran the gamut for a good 2 hours. She used plenty of her current album Hurricane although the classics got the biggest response from the crowd. Helped along was her wardrobe - Miss Jones changed headgear and outfit after every song. She would waltz off near the end to get a change from the milliner Philip Treacy who was backstage but keep her microphone on and talk to the audience. It was slightly bizarre cheering to an empty stage but when you heard Grace ask for something to suck on, the audience went berserk! This ad libbing gave a brief glimpse into Grace Jones and I must say I love the fact that she doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks of her. At one point she laughed that it sounded as though she was snorting something - this whipped the crowd up as I wouldn't put anything past Miss Grace.

As I said, the classics got the crowd going - a personal favourite of mine is La Vie En Rose. This song has always been in my top 5 songs ever since I discovered it 7 or 8 years ago. The arrangement was very true to the original I have adored and seeing Grace wrap herself round a rotating pole wearing a rhinestoned top hat and tails was a sight to behold. A perfect image. Grace actually got the crowd on stage with her for Pull Up To The Bumper and the whole audience was enraptured. This song was fabulous - but not as fabulous as Grace doing Slave To the Rhythm and hula hooping the entire song.

Yes you read that right, Grace came on with tiny ting ting cymbals and hula hooped the entire song which included her walking around the stage introducing her band and team backstage. At one point she forgot a name of one of the band members but she carried on anyway. She was more than fierce.

Grace is known for flubbing lines, turning up late, having attitude and not sounding the best. She was all of those things but she had the audience in the palm of her hand. At 60, she looks like a woman almost half that age with a body to die for. She showed real energy and attitude and delivered a mindblowing show.

I took my friend Cameron who had downloaded her album Hurricane that day and was getting into some of Miss Grace's tracks - she will eternally be for me that androgynous figure who has defied critics and fans to do whatever the hell she wants. And who produced one of the greatest songs ever in La Vie En Rose. I am thrilled that I saw the legend and got a glimpse of a true diva who at age 60 is still well within her prime with plenty more to come.........

Listening to - The Gibson Brothers - Que Sera Mi Vida - 54 Soundtrack

N.R.E

2009-01-21T22:13:00.003Z

I am slightly perturbed today. I've been in meetings all day and can't stop thinking about something.

All yesterday and today, I've been having an N.R.E - A Nipple Related Experience. The fact is my nips nips have been as erect as a 19 year old guy's dick since yesterday morning. At work yesterday and again at the gym you could easily have cut glass or possibly milked them for a dairy farm they were so pert.

I put it down to a slight chill in the air so covered them up snuggly with my scarf today but alas, they just won't go down. At one point I thought they may slice through my workout top. And they're very sensitive - Maybe I'm in the family way or maybe I'm pregnant - I hear that causes sensitive titties.

I'll monitor the N.R.E and report back if there are any eyes being gouged or doors opened by them...... Like Carrie Bradshaw, I can't help but wonder - is this normal?

Listening to Scissor Sisters - Do The Strand - War Child Album 2009

ETERNALLY CAULFIELD

2009-01-18T22:09:00.002Z

Maxwell Caulfield has joined the cast of Emmerdale in the UK. He plays a rich man who's bought a farm and time has been kind to Maxwell as I'd hoped.

Nothing will match those heady days when he was the arrogant Miles Colby in Dynasty and The Colbys.

I HEART MAXWELL!

SO WHAT

2009-01-12T22:15:00.002Z

I've become a gym bunny. I can't stay away this weather - I hit the gym 5 times last week and did a weights class and then yoga tonight. I can't get too much into yoga just now and found it quite difficult but I might stick with it to see how flexible I can get. I keep on exhaling when I should be inhaling and the whole downward facing dog thing makes my arms shake or want to fart. The gym is still full of people who will jack it in in 3 weeks and it's a bitch to get a locker - I don't think there are over 200 guys in my gym at any one time but nearly every locker was being used tonight when I went in.

I'm actually quite glad I did the yoga as it meant I could chill out a bit. I know it's only been one day into the working week but today was quite stressful. I'm definitely trying to relax more after work and not get so caught up in everything work related. I find myself lying in bed at night thinking about the next day in work and results and things I want to achieve and that has to stop. One thing I've learned over the past few months is that I do need to shut up shop at 5pm when I stop working otherwise I could go on and on getting stressed - and what does stress bring?? Wrinkles!! And let me tell you, I'm smothering on the Clinique normally so I dread to think what I'd look like if I had the weight of my working world on my shoulders all the time.

Because of the gym classes and time spent busting my buns, I've been sweating like crazy and have washed more towels and knickers than a Chinese laundry in the past week. I only hope that the hard work kicks in and pays off in the coming weeks. Tonight was also the first time I got a buzz out of lifting some weights. I was totally energised and high after the class. I'd increased the weight slightly and really felt the burn although it helped that there was a wee hottie with a well fit body working out too.

Now I know I'm a real Johnny Come Lately sometimes but I've only just got into Pink's song "So What" This has been out for months but normally anything that lez sings does my box in because all the lesbians in Polo start kicking up their trainers and swing their chunky keys to it. What got me thinking about it was actually my dear mother. She just loves it and last week when she was driving, she turned it up and starting doing some shoulder moves professing her love for the song. The only other song that's gotten a similar reaction from my mother is the Scissor Sister's "I Don't Feel Like Dancin". At any function or night I've been at with the parentals, that is the song that always gets my mum busting some more moves than the shoulder ones reserved for car journeys.

Listening to - Pink - So What

BACK TO GYM COCK SCHOOL

2009-01-07T21:26:00.003Z

I did what millions of people do every January and hit the gym again. It's been exceptionally busy with loads of people who only work out for 5 weeks in January and the start of February and then jack it in.

I've done a few classes and had the shit kicked out of me. Last night was tough but I thought I was going to collapse tonight - it was so intense. Talk about feeling the burn. I was nearly inflamed. However it's all for the good of my body which I neglected towards the end of last year. I'm back again tomorrow to lift weights and perv at the hot muscle lads who pump and moan which are two of my favourite characteristics in a man! I hate lifting the weights and find it a struggle with all the accoutrements but I will stick it longer - I get too impatient for results and can't be bothered if I don't see instant results. This time though, I'm going to get a trainer to kick my butt and push me. I have no self will power (well some, but none when a hard dick is presented to me!) so every little helps!

The cock has been amazing in the gym aswell which is always a plus. There's a guy who goes to my classes and I get on well with and he's a pervier bitch than me - if that's possible. He eyes the boys up and chats away to them, and the Polish boys have cheekbones to die for - I have not a clue what they say to each other but it sounds absolutely filthy.

On top of that, I have stuck to the healthier eating. No more fried food at lunch or a nip round to Greggs, I'm a soup and rice cake boy just now with some yoghurt and fruit thrown in for good measure. I am one determined lady to keep on going with this, if only for the cock watching and to get some baby guns and that shape at my hip bone going down to my pelvis and a slimmer waist and tighter abs. Get me the plastic surgeon now!!

Listening to - Jimmy Somerville - Read My Lips

RESOLUTION IN MY HEAD

2009-01-04T18:12:00.003Z

The new year always brings about new resolutions that people stick with for a few weeks or months and then give up. Like eating less chocolate or dieting more or more sex or more sex with different partners or to be tidier or keep in touch with people you've lost contact with.

God only knows what my resolutions are but last year I said I was going to have more sex with people and remember their or ask their name. I think I achieved it. I also got fitter by hitting the gym and the workouts start again on Tuesday.

I'm going to fill my fridge with good ingredients and have less carbs so today I had a massive bowl of pasta and will finish off today with a cheeky bag of crisps and some chocolate and stick on some Miss Marple. Not gay or camp at all!!

I am also composing emails to people I've met through blogging and get back in contact with them. I sometimes can't tell if anyone reads this blog as the counter goes up when I log on but don't notice it too much so if I'm in that situation, I daresay some of my favourite blogs are aswell so with the season of goodwill just past, I intend to spread some of my own goodwill! I also am DEFINITELY going to finish my Top 25 Camp Movies Of All Time - I only have 5 more posts on this so it shouldn't be too hard, I already know what number 5 is and have just watched it to re-acquaint myself with this masterpiece of trash.

All these resolutions, I wonder if I look back in 3 months time whether I will have kept any of these up??!

Listening to - Barbara Cook - Losing My Mind (Follies Live In Concert)

HOLIDAY OR PATTI

2009-01-04T00:11:00.005Z

It's officially that time of the year when people get that seasonal disorder when they get depressed. So I've decided to take the bull by the horns and am going to plan my holidays like my friend Julia. She makes sure she gets at least 6 holidays a year going to Europe and trying loads of different places. I'm sure she can sniff a bargain at her laptop and books away!

So there are some shows in London coming up and that's a good excuse to go for a crazy pissup with my mate Rod. He's daft as a brush and likes to disco and also likes showtunes so I can mix it up and see some shows and go mental partying. Then there's New York for all our 30ths. Julia wants to go in July but I think it will be hot and sticky and full of tourists - like us!!

I feel cheered up already - it's either the holiday chat or Patti Lupone singing A New Argentina on my iStation. Probably both! Oh Carol Burnett's just come on, I better lipsynch!!

Listening to - Patti Lupone - A New Argentina (Evita Original Broadway Cast Recording)

A NEW YEAR AND TEN SHOWTUNES

2009-01-01T23:25:00.003Z

Happy New Year reader! I hope this year is more fruitful and exciting as possible. With some drama and angst and a catfight thrown in, it could be a bad episode of Knots Landing. I have gone stark staring bonkers and bought some CDs. Yes - CDs! I have been going crazy for anything showtuney and unable to find some rare recordings on iTunes, I have bought some CDs - very cheaply and will then upload them.

Whenever you feel the January blues kick in, please watch an episode of the Golden Girls, eat some cheescake and listen to one of the following showtunes -

JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS - from CATS
The lyrics are all very bizarre but terribly uplifting. I defy anyone not to paw their hand like a pussy cleaning itself after prancing round the living room in your high heels.

BEING ALIVE - from COMPANY
I recommend the live Bernadette Peters version. I can imagine seeing her swinging her head about as if her curly hair were going to fall off.

BROADWAY BABY - from FOLLIES
Either Bernadette again as it's bloody good and she does both cutesy and downtrodden so very well. The other option is Elaine Stritch live at Liberty. Elaine did a stomping version at a Follies benefit concert in the 80s and brought the rafters down with a totally different take.

BUENOS AIRES - from EVITA
Patti Lupone kicks the crap out of this and I just want to samba whenever I hear her hit this belting notes.

ONE NIGHT ONLY - from DREAMGIRLS
The movie version is more polished than the Original Broadway Cast Recording and Beyonce has some great disco chops. It's fierce and guaranteed to get you moving as though it were the Macarena.

WHAT I DID FOR LOVE - from A CHORUS LINE
Simply a stunning song - any dancer can relate to this song. The chorus line are asked how they would feel if they had to stop dancing right away. The first line of "Kiss today goodbye...." sums up the perfect showtune.

SHOW OFF - from THE DROWSY CHAPERONE
Sutton Foster kills in this tour de force number where she plays the bottles and changes about 5 times when you see the spectacle. A stunning song.

AS IF WE NEVER SAID GOODBYE - from SUNSET BOULEVARD
Just amazing when Norma returns to the studio and finds herself bathed in the spotlight, years after it left her. Any gay man can relate to this.

ONE DAY MORE - from LES MISERABLES
Not my favourite song from the show - that lies with I Dreamed A Dream - however, this song could rouse the dead with it's anthemic delivery. Colm Wilkinson and Michael Ball in the original cast round it out.

DEFYING GRAVITY - from WICKED
This sounds cliched now as it's just an unbelievable song from one of my favourite all time shows. I saw Idina Menzel blow the audience away in it's first few weeks in London in 2006 and nobody (not even Kerry Ellis) has beaten it. It goes through so many rhythms and turns the listener to showtune mush and when she belts out that last note..... well - all bets are off!

A LITTLE NIGHT LOVE

2008-12-30T20:03:00.002Z

Today is brought to you by the letter Cheyenne.

By letter I mean name, and by name I mean hunk, and by hunk I mean Cheyenne Jackson. I met this hunk about a year ago in NYC when he was playing in Xanady on Broadway.

He is just gorgeous and knows how to look moody and hot and hot and moody. He gets my vote as hottest Broadway hunk! I'm showtuned out of my box just now. I've gone all Sondheim. I think of him as more intellectual than most musical composers. He's had great success and some of his shows are on dvd. I've just watched Into The Woods and a fabulous concert in the 80s of his classic show Follies. I'm determined to watch A Little Night Music in London, it's playing in the Menier Chocolate Factory and I hope it transfers to a West End theatre so I can nab a ticket. The score is brilliant. Almost as good as Follies which is my favourite show of his. Seeing Elaine Stritch belt out Broadway Baby the way it should be done is nothing short of genius.

So here's today's hunk. Cheyenne Jackson...

HOT TAMALE IN THE COLD

2008-12-29T20:11:00.005Z

I've been well knackered today. It's back to work for a few days until Hogmanay when I can party a bit more. I feel all I've done is go out and party and Jon called to see if I fancied going for drinks tonight and I'm still swithering. Then the other Jon text to see if we fancied a shindig in Edinburgh tomorrow night. Now that I had to refuse as I'm working for a bit on Wednesday morning and couldn't face being completely rough all the time!

I think I will stay in to be honest but have found some warmth. Not only am I going musical crazy, I'm going man crazy. Well porn star crazy. Well porn star blog crazy. There are loads of hot gay porn stars who in a bid to reach out to their fanbase of pervs and horny guys and nosy people, all have their own online blog except with more penis and disco shots. There are some who are very boring. I think they are trying to prove they are more than just cocksmen. But really that's all we need to know. Others are trying to be artistic - one blog has Francois Sagat talking in tongues. It's like when Harry Potter talks like a snake in one of the early movies. It's a bit mental. Then others just post some pictures of their travel and the occasional flash of their dick. This is called a "good blog" and "readable".

The first one is a bit twinkie and not my type at all but there is a touch od scandale around this boy. His name is Brent Corrigan. He's a typical all American boy and from I can understand, did some nasty non-condom porn when he was under the age of 21 on film. Then some guy died and he was involved in a trial to some extent. Obviously everything's ticketyboo and he lives in San Diego and does his own porn now (with condoms). Recently, he's felt that people in San Diego don't like him and I can imagine why. I hate him considering hes so pretty and pert and if you've seen Brent Corrigan in action, you will also slightly lust after him. Here's Brent..

He's delicious - but not as delicious as my next favourite porn star - Jason Ridge. Don't you just love the names!! Jason has worked in porn for a few years and s feeling more hot tamale than Mariah Carey. He works for big studios and is muscley and his blog is just pictures of him going out and partying. He adores Madonna and therefore my favourite pasttime Kaballah. If it's not Kaballah, it's porn and he loves both. Jason doesn't like Brent apparently. Jason sideswerved Brent at a porn awards ceremony making it even more delicious. Jason works out a lot and has tightened up his abs. He likes to travel and the peaceful things in life but is also highly sexed and his blog shows random photos of him with his family and then one of him with his big cut cock out which certainly makes it more interesting. Here's Jason..

and here's one of Jason's photos that i think he took himself - this isn't safe for work by the way, however, it should be!!

All in all, these two men could help break this cold snap in anyone's household. Only two more days of winter hotties and then it's 2009. Brent and Jason, here we come!!

WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN AND NEW?!

2008-12-28T23:12:00.004Z

In keeping with merriment, here is a picture of Sean Lamont. He's a Scottish rugby player who appeared in the sexy Dieux du Stade Calendar a few years ago and got me feeling so sudden and new.... Enjoy!

Last night I went to JonJon's and made dinner which was delicious and got captivated again in the exploits of the Kids from Fame when they were brought back together for a reunion on Channel 4. It helped that I was in my cups when watching it and shrieking like a harpie whenever Justin Lee Collins met Debbie Allen and then she fake cried when talking about the death of Gene Anthony Ray aka Leroy. Valerie Lansburg was caught in a cinema (by herself watching a Wesley Snipes movie!) It was crazy and quite obviously set up to look as though Justin had gone hunting for these stars of yesteryear but you just know that they had been booked for ages. It's not like The Kids From Fame are that busy these days - Bruno was working out, Danny was at a baseball match and Coco was "jamming" with what sounded like a terrible folk band.

So it brought back loads of great 80s and legwarmer memories and all the chat about Hi Fidelity and Starmaker made me a tad emulsional and nostalgic.

In keeping with nostalgia, I kissed a boy last night and I liked it which is always better than licking a girl and vomiting. I have no idea how I met him but I do remember he was from Virginia and was over here doing his PHD - his specialist subject was kissing and I'm sure he passed. For a brief moment I had a vision - it was of me living in America (not Virginia) with my PHD lover and setting up a Stateside home and adopting a dog and some Himalayan whistle kids to stitch up my suit jackets at sweatshop costs. Then the moment passed and I realised I had left my friends for a wee while. I later discovered said kisser showing his qualifications to somebody else. Like the good gay I am, I took the high ground and kissed a guy I've banged a few times and everything was merry.

UNWRAPPED PRESENTS

2008-12-27T13:55:00.003Z

So Xmas has been and gone. It was very chilled out as with every other year. I headed back to my parents and we watched some really bad tv for a few hours and had a laugh. I went to bed and watched Miss Marple (yes I'm that gay!) and awoke on Xmas morning to my dad blaring out Marni Nixon dubbing for Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady - she could have danced all night but my dad turned the volume up to get us all up. We all rose about 11ish and opened presents and exchanged gifts. It was a really fun day and I did nothing but relax and try and sort out my parent's new mobile phones which my brother and I got for them. It took hours and hours of tinkering until they were happy with everything!

After dinner and some drinks I headed to my friends to see them and then there was a Secret Santa at Jon's. 7 of us decided to do Xmas and then headed out for some sweet Xmas sherries. It was actually not a good move as the city centre was totally dead. We were the only people in the street and it was quite eerie. However, nothing I repeat nothing can keep the gays from going out on any given night and Xmas is exactly the same. The Polo was semi busy with people wearing their new outfits that Santa had delivered. It just seemed a bit bizarre kicking up your heels on Xmas day and I had a sore head so lasted barely an hour before heading home. What followed was the scariest I have felt since being chased by a dog when I was 8. I stuck the iPod in and headed home thinking I could flag a taxi. There were no taxis so I walked and didn't pass a person or a car for about fifteen of my twenty minute journey home. It was like something out of a scary movie. I expected the Scream mask to pop round the corner and I'd be Rose McGowan or Drew Barrymore running like a crazy big nippled victim trying to escape. I got home in one piece and clambered into bed after another good Xmas.

Yesterday I played Mother to Jon, Jon and David as they lay about like lazy slobs whilst I cooked lunch and snacks and more cups of tea than at the local church service. It was a very chilled out day and eventually my headache went away after more than 24 hours! I spent last night singing showtunes and watching musicals on dvd. If anybody has ever seen The Drowsy Chaperone where Bob Martin sits in his cardigan listening to records of his favourite musicals or watching performances on TV, well that was me last night and a what a fabulous night it was!!

Now in keeping with unwrapping presents, here's a picture of Dale from this year's Big Brother show. He was a bit of a twat on the show but I must say he he looks like a little slice of heaven...... So for some Xmas goodwill, I'm willing his towel to drop!

A LITTLE CHRISTMAS QUEER?

2008-12-24T14:55:00.002Z

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas - and to get into the spirit, I thought there's nothing better than looking at a hot guy. And there's none hotter than my favourite Christmas queerleader (I mean cheerleader!) than Zac Efron.

I've just been texting all my friends when I was watching High School Musical and seeing this slice of heaven.....

Happy Xmas to Zac Efron and to everyone else - have a great time!!!!! All I want for Christmas is Zac Efron at the foot of my bed with a stocking and a pair of tight boxers!!

SHOPKEEPER UPDATE

2008-12-23T19:52:00.001Z

I popped into the store where I used the calculator about an hour ago - it was the LadyBoss who was in charge rather than Old Goat and my faith in the shopkeeper has been restored. She's open on Xmas Day in case, and I quote - "You want to buy milk" and..... she gave me a FREE bar of chocolate.

She's the best! Old Goat can piss off, she's my shopping God now!!

SHIFTY SHOPKEEPERS

2008-12-23T15:33:00.002Z

For the past two days, I have gone into two of my local stores to buy milk and other bits and bobs and twice I have almost been fleeced by my local shopkeepers.

Damn them, the first time, the man had the cheek to ask for my coppers change. I actually laughed at him and told him to cough up. I didn't think much of it as I was also slightly three sheets to the wind but then last night, I headed in again for milk to the shop across the road from the greedy shopkeeper. Now I don't have a milk fetish but I do only buy a half pint at a time. I don't drink it the day after it's opened so buying a pint means that some of it may go to waste. Last night I ventured in and again the other shopkeeper tried to shortchange me. Now I know it's the season of goodwill but I refuse to line the coffers of my local establishments when they can't count. I simply grabbed the man's calculator and questioned the price he rang up for butter (well it was I Can't Believe It's Not Butter) but it was my butter substitute. Sure enough he added a full £1 on to the 69p it should have been.

This credit crunch has obviously hit home to Glasgow's corner shops.

On a brighter note, it's a few days til Xmas and I'm off work. I've been drinking for the past week so after Saturday night, I called an armistice on the booze until Xmas night at the earliest - which is only 5 days so not really a break but compared to what I was doing, Sue Ellen Ewing would have been proud. I'm sure I heard my liver actually squeal "Caress!!! I'm hurting!!" on Sunday morning so an intervention was required and it came in the form of not opening that next bottle of champagne and watching the scene where Sue Ellen goes stark staring bonkers after Bobby's funeral and ends up drinking meths (not crystal meth!) from a brown paper bag.

I've just switched on one of my favourite Xmas movies, "The Man Who Came To Dinner". It's not majorly Xmassy per se but it's got Bette Davis, a winter setting and is an almost sophisticated slapstick comedy. It's just perfect afternoon viewing for the holidays. I'm off home to the parents tomorrow for Xmas Eve and Xmas Day and return back here after the champagne at Jon's on Xmas night. I love the fact that when I go home I get the chance to get spoiled and not do any housework, which reminds me - I've got a washing to do and some hoovering to do and also to avoid some corner shops for my milk Ciao for now!!!

LISTENING WITH BAD HAIR

2008-12-14T20:47:00.002Z

The X Factor final was last night. I adored Dannii Minogue again - It's Team Minogue all the way and I hope she's back next year as I think she's fabulous. She wears killer dresses and has fab skin, porcelain style. I read online that she's spending next year in Australia so who knows - she may do a 3rd season of Australia's Got Talent and that may also tie her up to X Factor - I hope so......

Last night, I had to applaud the final - like last years duet of Leon and Kylie, this year it was Alexandra and Beyonce. Alexandra looked like Beyonce's sister Solange and she sang "Listen" from Dreamgirls and when Miss Beyonce came out, I was loving it although very concerned about her hair. It wasn't pretty and looked a bad drag wig. Her voice and the arrangement of Listen as a duet was amazing - I saw her live a few years ago and she has a fair set of lungs. It gave me goosebumps to see her belt out live - Alex was a bit weepy and it was expected that she would win. No real shock.

Then we all trotted through to Edinburgh for Cameron's birthday. A troop of us got drunk on the train and hit the club. Cameron literally hit the club as he was so drunk he threw himself about the club like the San Francisco earthquake had taken over his body - it was a sight behold. He departed fairly quickly to sleep off in a hotel room and we discoed the rest of the night away and got a night bus home - it was more council that I ever thought imaginable - I can slum it with the best of them though and slept through it and hit the hay about 6am this morning. Even when I'm almost 30, I can still do it!!!

Not long til Xmas and the shopping is all done. I have no gifts to get as I'm all prepped and am looking forward to some time off over the festive period - I'm just about to stick in my favourite Xmas style movie "The Man Who Came To Dinner" it's not completely festive but gets me in the spirit..... And I still need to get to the next movie on my list of Camp Movies!!!